Looking Up

How Do I Love Thee?

2009-02-28T12:10:00.000-08:00

For the second time I've been given the opportunity to do a study on the Fruit of the Spirit. I'm enjoying it because this study is from a different perspective than the first one I did and I'm learning a lot. Yesterday in our group we were talking about love, specifically Agape Love. One thing the study pointed out that I really appreciated was that Agape is not fueled by the desire of its recipient; it is fueled by the need.

Not what I want, but what I need.

That's how much God loves me, enough to lay aside what I want (no matter how much whining I do!) in favor of giving me what I need. It doesn't always feel good to be loved this way! Sometimes it hurts and I don't understand what He's doing but because I trust Him, I can trust that He is doing what is best for me.

He also calls me to love others in this way. I think this is a concept our world has a hard time understanding. We tend to think that if we make someone the least bit uncomfortable we aren't being loving to them.

My sister's husband Fred has been in the hospital for a couple of weeks now with an assortment of health issues that brought him to the brink of death. He's had a perforated bowel, kidney failure, heart trouble, fluid in his abdomen and needs a liver transplant. He went through a surgery to repair his bowel and has been on dialysis to clear his body of the toxins that are overwhelming his system.

Things have been going well since the surgery and he's regained enough strength to be a pain! He doesn't understand why he's in the hospital, he's been in a drug induced fog for several weeks and doesn't know how close to dying he came. He pulled his catheter out of the artery it was in because he wanted to go home. Fortunately my sister spotted it and he was fixed right up but now because of his antics (of which this was only one) he is in restraints. He's yelled and used profanity, begged people to release him, asked for scissors or a knife all because he desperately wants out of those restraints!

But no one will help him out. Does nobody love him? No, it's because we love him that we won't untie him. It could be life threatening to remove the restraints at this point.

It's hard to overlook what someone wants and go straight to what they need! Tracy (his wife) has to put up with all of this while she stands guard. It takes a toll, it's hard work to choose the best for someone instead of what they think they want. But it's exactly what we're called to do.

Love is the first one listed in the verse on the Fruit of the Spirit but goodness ties directly into this type of Agape love.

Goodness is moral excellence; virtue, generosity; the activity calculated to advance value, excellence or perfection. The word indicates zealous activity in doing good.

Goodness carries the idea of purity, righteousness, obedience to God. The Greek word used here (agathosune), interestingly enough is not found outside of Christian writings. It was a word used only among believers to denote uprightness of heart and life. Agathosune is active – even aggressive – goodness. It is more than excellence of character; it is character energized, expressing itself in active good. Agathosune is goodness but it does not spare sharpness and rebuke to produce good in others. This is the trait that will get out the red pen when correcting a math assignment and mark the incorrect ones.

The popular world view right now is that we should all be nice to each other; that is what is considered “good”. We are all well aware of what it means to be politically correct so we don’t offend someone. On the surface it seems like that's a fine idea but we’re comparing people to people in this equation and we have left God out of it. God’s goodness goes beyond “just being nice to each other”.

If I love my children and want “good” for them I will have boundaries for them and I will train them in God’s righteous standard. This one can be so hard! Sometimes when we're disciplining we see the big sad eyes filled with tears and we think our job is done and we don't need to punish them. If you're thinking that, you're right. You don't ever, ever want to "punish" them. You want to discipline them. What's the difference?

Love your kids enough to discipline them. Sometimes I want to love them selfishly because it's hard for me to actually mete out disciplinary action. In this case, I am loving me more than them.
If we are parenting with the end in mind we can see that every thing we're doing is going to produce certain fruit in their lives; good or bad. Which do you want to sow?

Likewise, there are occasions that we as brothers and sisters in Christ will need to admonish one another in order to provoke each other to goodness. This takes humility both to give and receive.

If you are on the giving end humility is extremely important so that you don't fall into the same situation you're trying to rescue someone from. This type of correction has to be done in love and with the goal of restoration. We should never go into this kind of situation thinking we need to "fix" someone or make them "wise up". Pray, pray and pray some more before you go there!

If you're on the receiving end of a correction it can be even more challenging! My pride wants to just jump up there and smack someone! I try to pray every day for humility and that I would be teachable because sometimes I need to hear a hard word. My husband has on occasion had to call me on a behavior or an attitude and my flesh wants to rise up and poke him with something sharp and pointy!

But I always try to run these things by the Lord and respond instead of react. Whenever someone accuses me of something the first thing I do is ask the Lord, “Is there any merit to what they are saying?” If yes then repentance is in order and then the next thing I ask the Lord is “What do you want me to learn from this?” Even if there was no merit to what they said, if the Lord allowed it then there is something I can learn from it.

Surrender to Him, humility, empathy for someone else who had the same situation occur, there are any number of things He teaches me in this stuff but the key is to be humble and open to Him.

If you trust that God is good then you have to realize that He will rebuke you. Hebrews 12:5-6 says, "My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives."

Love. It's not just a feeling. It's not flowers and candy. It's hoping for and encouraging the best. It's acting in the best interest of those we're loving to spur them to righteousness.

Love me enough to do this for me and I will try to do the same for you.

Poems and Such

2009-02-27T14:27:00.000-08:00

After some discussion today at Bible study on the topic of parenting, I came home and decided to dig out some poems I like regarding motherhood. It's an eclectic collection but then I am a bit eclectic! :)

~

FROM GOD WITH LOVE

Children are a blessing sent from God above
For us to care and nurture and most of all to love.
God calls us to be parents and gives us all the tools
And when we feel like giving up, our strength He will renew.

Children are a gift from God that He so freely lends
To make it through the childhood years, on Him we must depend.
He must have a presence, you see it must take three
The parents, child and Christ at the center to be a family.
From childhood days to a child full grown
Their joys and hurts are a parent’s own.

Times of joy and laughter and those times of tears
The times spent raising a child are surely the best of years.

There comes that time in life when a child will leave the nest
We must send them off with love and a prayer and leave to God the rest.

We have shared the Word of God, we’ve taught them right from wrong
Now it’s time to let them go and let them write their song.

The faith instilled, the examples lived, and the lessons taught
All gifts that we’ve given our child, which will never be forgotten.

There are many paths a child can take, right or wrong will remain unknown
But rest assured that in the end, they all lead back to home.

Author Unknown

~

EXCUSE THIS HOUSE

Some houses try to hide the fact,
That children shelter there

Ours boasts of it quite openly,
The signs are everywhere

For smears are on the windows,
Little smudges on the door;

I should apologize, I guess
For the toys strewn on the floor

But I sat down with the children
And we played & laughed & read;

And if the doorbell doesn't shine,
Their eyes will shine instead!

For when at times I'm forced to choose
The one job or the other

I want to be a housewife
But first I'll be a mother!

Author Unknown

~

WHICH PARENT WILL I BE?

"I got two A's," the small boy cried.
His voice was filled with glee.
His father very bluntly asked,
"Why didn't you get three?"

"Mom, I've got the dishes done,"
The girl called from the door.
Her mother very calmly said,
"Did you sweep the floor?"

"I've mowed the grass," the tall boy said,
"And put the mower away."
His father asked him, with a shrug,
"Did you clean off the clay?"

The children in the house next door
seem happy and content.
The same thing happened over there,
And this is how it went:

"I got two A's,"the small boy cried,
His voice was filled with glee.
His father very proudly said,
"That's great, I'm glad you belong to me."

"Mom, I've got the dishes done,"
The girl called from the door.
Her mother smiled and softly said,
"Each day I love you more."

"I've mowed the grass," the tall boy said,
"And put the mower away."
His father answered with much joy,
"You've made my day happy."

Children deserve a little praise
For tasks they're asked to do.
If they're to lead a happy life,
So much depends on you.

Author Unknown

~

A PARENT'S PRAYER

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my sanity to keep.
For if some peace I do not find,
I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind.

I pray I find a little quiet,
Far from the daily family riot.
May I lie back and not have to think
About what they're stuffing down the sink,
Or who they're with, or where they're at
And what they're doing to the cat.

I pray for time all to myself
(did something just fall off a shelf?)

To cuddle in my nice, soft bed
(Oh no, another goldfish--dead!)

Some silent moments for goodness sake
(Did I just hear a window break?)

And that I need not cook or clean
(well heck, I've got the right to dream)

Yes now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my wits about me keep,
But as I look around I know,
I must have lost them long ago!

Author Unknown

And this last one I loved so much that I printed it out, matted and framed it. I hung it in my bathroom so I pass it several times a day. :)

~

A MOM'S VERSION OF 1 CORINTHIANS 13

Though I lecture and harp at my children and have not love, I will be background noise to rebellious thoughts.

And though I wisely warn them not to use the street as a playground, or they'll be killed; and though I patiently explain why snails live in mobile homes, and I give endless answers to life's other mysteries; and though I have faith that can remove mountains of ignorance - yet never hug my children - I have taught nothing.

And though I slave over a steaming stove with balanced diets and complicated recipes and even burn my fingers - yet never smile as I serve - I have not really fed them.

A truly loving mother suffers through unfinished sentences, clutter, nicks on furniture, sleepless nights and adolescent insults, and is kind enough to think her kids are the greatest. A loving mother tries not to resent her children for being free like she used to be, and she doesn't brag about how she never talked to her mom that way.

Real love considers a childish nightmare more urgent than her need for sleep; is not shattered by the title "Meanest Mom"; doesn't shame a toddler who breaks training or a teen who still spills milk; steadfastly refuses to entertain visions of escape; and does not smirk as her child trips over the toy he refused to put away (but with silent wisdom rejoices in the effective lessons of experience).

Mother-love has arms strong from lifting, a heart large with believing, a mind stretched with hoping, shoulders soft with enduring, and knees bent with committing.

True mother-love never fails to point her child to the Author of Love.

Susan L. Lenzkes

And now these three remain; faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13

Reflecting...

2009-02-17T13:01:00.000-08:00

In church for the last few weeks we've been going through the book of Acts and this past Sunday saw us in Acts 3-4. At the beginning of chapter 3 we find Peter and John heading to the Synagogue to pray when they are flagged down by a lame man who wanted alms from them. If you've read the story you'll remember that this where Peter stated "Silver and Gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you; In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!" A very cool, very bold statement since it would be kind of embarrassing if nothing happened.

But the guy was healed and began jumping around praising God. At least he got it right! The others in the story, when they heard about it tried to worship Peter and John and had to be corrected. (Though this was a very nice segue for Peter right into the gospel message. Gotta love Peter! :) )

There were some things here that our pastor pointed out that I hadn't caught before. The first thing being that Peter and John were flexible to the direction of the Lord. Their agenda was to go pray, God's agenda saw a lame man healed and hundreds of people saved. They set aside their plans for the day in favor of doing what the Lord put before them and saw some serious fruit as a result.

They didn't get to enjoy the success for very long before trouble came calling though. As soon as the spiritual muckety-mucks got wind of what was going on they tried to put a stop to it. They grabbed Peter and John and dragged them before the Sanhedrin and tried to shut them up.

This being Peter he gave them a sermon too! Really, gotta love Peter!

The religious leaders wanted them to stop teaching or even speaking about Jesus and there was just no way they could do that. I wonder if at some point Peter and John realized they were beginning to walk in their Lord's footsteps? Did it embolden them? Strike fear in their hearts? Maybe a little of both? At any rate, Peter wasn't about to be bossed around by these guys, persecution or not! His response to them was, "Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than to God, you judge. For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard." Acts 4:19-20

All of that was good but there was one thing Pastor Doug said that really arrested me. He asked, "Is your tribulation worth the salvation of another man's soul?"

I've spent a couple of days turning that question over and over in my mind and came up with a couple of more questions for myself.

Will I be obedient to what He's asked me to do? Even if it causes me to be uncomfortable or tosses me into tribulation of my own? Will I set myself aside for the sake of another? And the one that really got me; What effect does my disobedience have on those around me?

In the text if Peter and John had not turned aside they would have missed the opportunity to heal the lame man. Yes, God is God and His will won't be thwarted but it still would have had an impact on the lame guy and by extension the people who gave their lives to the Lord as a result of Peter's speech. At the minimum they would have had to wait for the next guy to come along and who knows what could have happened in the interim.

We just don't know what kind of an impact our response to God is going to have on those around us. In thinking all of this through the Lord reminded me of a lesson He taught me a few years ago. No body's salvation was at stake but it was a lesson in obeying even when I didn't want to and it did impact my marriage from that day until now. You don't want to know what it was do you? ;)

The argument began the way most of our arguments do I suppose; one of us didn't get our way and protested. However it began, I will never forget how it ended. We were in the car with all the kids headed across the Trestle into Everett. I remember it being a warm, sunny day out but it was pretty frigid in the car. Both of us stared straight ahead, wrapped up in our own private thoughts and refusing to acknowledge each other.

Being the spiritual one I was talking to the Lord. Okay, I was whining like a petulant two year old. "Lord he . . . whine, whine, whine!"

I knew the Lord wanted me to reach across the center console and take Jon's hand but the way I was trying to get out of it you'd have though He'd asked me to put my hand into a running meat grinder! I did not want to do it so I continued to "pray"; "But Lord he....!"

Will you do it for me?

Oh that cut deep! That quiet question posed to my heart, would I reach out to my husband simply because He asked me to? All of the fight drained right out of me and I reached across and took Jon's hand in my own. As soon as I did I saw the fight leave him too. We both apologized, dealt with whatever it was we were arguing over and peace was restored in our family.

I have no idea what that fight was about and I don't remember what I whined to the Lord about my husband. I remember His quiet question and the effect it had on my heart though. He convicted me and I was able to repent to Him and then to my husband. My obedience (finally) in that situation restored peace in my marriage.

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

It's not always easy to obey though, is it? We want our way, especially if we feel we've been wronged. We want justice! We want vindication! We want our own way.

I have found though that if I simply come clean with the Lord and ask Him for help in obeying Him, He gives it.

Pretty simple isn't it? He knows what I'm thinking anyway so it's not like I will surprise Him if I say I don't want to do what He's asked. I'm not saying talk to Him like you're a spoiled little kid! He is God Almighty and deserves respect but He does love you and wants to help.

So ask Him.

Ask for the strength to obey when you've exhausted your own. Ask for His heart for that person you just don't want to love. Ask Him to help you set aside your agenda when He wants to change your plans. Ask Him for boldness to stand firm and speak His word in the face of persecution, that's what Peter and John did.

"I delight to do Your will, O my God,
And your law is within my heart." Psalm 40:8

Excuse me, do you validate?

2009-02-13T16:00:00.000-08:00

When I was pregnant with Gracie my doctor's office was at a local hospital. I always parked off campus and just walked over for the exercise and because I hate navigating parking garages. Oh, and I didn't want to have to pay for parking. :)

It was my first encounter with the practice of "validating" parking. I hadn't realized until they explained it to me at the desk that if I parked in the garage and had my parking validated by the doctor's office it would be free to me. They just need to give a stamp or sticker to affirm that you were there for a valid reason and not just scamming a parking space I guess. I never did go into the garage to park, it was just easier to continue to park across the street.

Sometimes I would like to be validated anyway.

I looked up the word and it means:
1. to make valid, substantiate, confirm;
2. to give legal force to; legalize
3. to give official sanction, confirmation, or approval to

and some of the synonyms are attest, authenticate, back, bear out, corroborate, evidence, justify, substantiate, testify, verify, warrant, confirm.

I've spent a lot of time searching for that validation. I tried getting it from people, thinking they would see something in me that I hoped was there but feared wasn't. I've fished for compliments and tried to look like I know a lot or at least like I was a teensy bit cooler than I am.

I've tried to find it in different roles I've held hoping the act of volunteering or having a job worth bragging about would somehow make me feel better about who I was and what I was doing.

I've tried to find it in stuff thinking that the accumulation of better stuff would satisfy me and make people go "She's okay!"

I tried finding it by losing weight and looking better because you know you're not anything unless you look like a supermodel.

No matter what course of action I took it seemed I could never find a peace about who I was. It's especially hard when you are surrounded by people who seem to be gifted at whatever they touch! Ever know someone like that? No matter what they try it turns out golden? Makes you kind of sick doesn't it? ;)

Everytime I would place my hope for validation in men or the things of men I would find myself not only lacking validation, but on many occasions feeling worse about myself than I had in the first place!

And yet I was foolish enough to try it again, and again, and again.

2 Corinthians 10:12 says, "For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves are not wise. "

I looked up the Greek for that word wise and it means "not mentally put together".

Um, yeah.

So now what? Where do I go from here?

I have to look to Christ alone for my validation. He is the only One with the authority to "stamp my card" as paid in full. He not only paid the price for me but now He imputes His righteousness to me.

That is such a nice, short little sentence to type but not so easy to live out when you've conditioned yourself to seek the praises of men! Or when you have been living with the fear of men so long you don't recognize that you can live without it. Fear of rejection, fear of failing, fear of not being good enough, they're all ways my mind has been conditioned over the years and they're hard habits to break.

But there is hope.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

He also says in 1 John 4 that perfect love casts out fear. These aren't magic bullets that will automatically release me from this way of thinking but they are a start. God doesn't want me in bondage to fear so it's reasonable to believe that He has provided the antidote, right?

He has.

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Romans 2:2

If we read, memorize and meditate on scripture, scripture that is God's message to each one of us, then we can be transformed by the renewing of our minds. He will change my way of thinking if I let Him. I need to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) and "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things." Philippians 4:8

So what is true about me according to God's Word?

I am loved (John 3:16)
I am God's child (John 1:12)
I am God's temple (1 Cor 3:16)
I have been justified (Rom 5:1)
I am Christ's friend (John 15:15)
I am God's co-worker (1 Cor 3:9)
I am complete in Christ (Col 2:10)
I am God's workmanship (Eph 2:10)
I am united with the Lord (1 Cor 6:17)
I am hidden with Christ in God (Col 3:3)
I am bought with a price (1 Cor 6:19-20)
I am a saint (set apart for God) (Eph 1:1)
I am a personal witness of Christ (Acts 1:8)
I have been adopted as God's child (Eph 1:5)
I have been redeemed and forgiven (Col 1:14)
I am the salt and light of the earth (Matt 5:13-14)
I am a member of the body of Christ (1 Cor 12:27)
I am free forever from condemnation (Rom 8:1-2)
I am free from any charge against me (Rom 8:31-34)
I am a citizen of Heaven. I am significant (Phil 3:20)
I have access to God through the Holy Spirit (Eph 2:18)
I am a minister of reconciliation for God (2 Cor 5:17-21)
I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (Eph 2:6)
I am established, anointed, sealed by God (2 Cor 1:21-22)
I cannot be separated from the love of God (Rom 8:35-39)
I am assured all things work together for good (Rom 8:28)
I have a future and a hope. He has plans for me. (Jer 29:11)
I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit (John 15:16)
I may approach God with freedom and confidence (Eph 3:12)
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13)
I am the branch of the true vine, a channel of His life (John 15:1-5)
I am confident the good works God has begun in me will be perfected (Phil 1:5)

I'm not there yet, I still struggle with those old ways of thinking but I am learning how He sees me and I finally know Who validates me.

*Special thanks to Bill and Glory's Haven for letting me steal your list. :)

Recycling!

2009-02-12T13:24:00.000-08:00

I had decided that I would put up a new post every day this week since I haven't been very good about it but let's just be honest here, I'm a little bit lazy! :D (Well, that and I have four kids I'm trying to homeschool and one of them is wrestling her math so I have to be available. ) I decided that for today I would repost one of my favorite things I've written. It's a few years old but I remember that camping trip like it was yesterday. And since I don't have much in the way of readership who's going to complain?! :P Besides, I'm just doing my part to go green and recycle! :)

~

For days the air had been hot and heavy, pressing down on us like a thick blanket that left us breathless and lethargic. So when the breeze started we welcomed it. It skittered through the campsite like a playful child, flipping the pages of my book until my place was hopelessly lost but I didn't care. The cool breeze ruffling through my hair made me feel as if I were awakening from a dream that had lasted far too long.

All through the camp people were coming out of their trances. Suddenly kids on bikes were everywhere and adults were walking about chattering like they hadn’t seen each other for days.

I wanted to enjoy the turn in the weather but deep inside me a warning was going off. Something was urging me to clean up the campsite. The strong pull to get everything put away and batten down the hatches didn’t seem to fit with the gentle breeze and cloudless blue sky but I couldn’t ignore it.

I hadn’t been cleaning more than a few minutes before I noticed clouds skittering by overhead. The urgency inside me grew and I worked faster. Then someone reported thunder and lightening down by the lake. This news kicked everyone into high gear; tarps were thrown over tents, campsites secured, children and pets were rounded up and tucked inside.

Before we had fully tied the tarps down the first fat drops began to fall. It had gone from hot, still weather to windy torrential rains in less than 20 minutes. We sat huddled in the tent listening to the thunder roll for over an hour.

Finally, the rains eased and the thunder rumbled off in the distance but the wind was reluctant to leave. No longer the gentle breeze that had playfully ruffled my hair, it was now in a full blown tantrum. The tall pines overhead danced and swayed, waving their branches as if in wild applause.

The day was chased away by the fast approaching darkness but the wind still would not subside. As night fell we snuggled the little ones into the tent and settled down by the fire. I usually find evenings at camp to be soothing and peaceful but this night the wind tormented the flames, whipping and swirling them around, blowing hot acrid smoke in our faces before flinging it off into the blackness somewhere along with my peace.

In that dense darkness I could hear the trees creaking and groaning with every blast from the unrelenting wind. Finally, one could take it no longer and we heard it crack then fall with a loud crash somewhere in the inky black night.

I’m sure my eyes were wide with the terror I felt because Jon immediately tried to sooth me. He wanted to go make sure the others were safe but the thought of him disappearing into the darkness caused all of my insides to twist into knots. Finally, though I was reluctant to let him go, concern for our friends won out.

As I watched the beam of his flashlight disappear into the night the huge black void pressed in and surrounded me. I was small and vulnerable, helpless against the power of the wind that lashed about me. I sat there in the dark, alone and afraid.

“Be anxious for nothing.”

The whispered thought crept into my mind amidst the frenzied thoughts of crashing trees and smashed tents. I tried to grab it but I was being tossed wildly about by the fears whirling through my head.

“Be still.”

Though again it was only a quiet whisper the words seemed to carry all His strength and power. Suddenly, the storm that raged in me was calmed and His peace flooded my soul. I was no longer at the mercy of the storm. Instead I saw myself as a tiny flame that was cupped in large strong hands, protected from the wind.

There are so many storms that blow through our lives and most of them are unexpected. We’re just going along enjoying the sunshine and out of the blue the thunder rolls, the lightening flashes and the wind tries to tear us apart. Our minds whirl with fear and doubt and we wait anxiously for the dawn, wondering if it will ever come.

When the night is black and closing in on you, remember He is near. With but a word He created all that we see. With a whisper He can calm the storm or the child caught in it. His love for you is more powerful than the fiercest gale and He cares for His own, whether they are huddled by a campfire or wandering in the dark.

I was lulled to sleep that night by the sound of the same wind that moments before had terrified me.

I know One who is bigger than the storm.

“My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;
I shall not be moved.

In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength,
And my refuge, is in God.

Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us.”

Psalm 62:5-8

Happy Birthday Josh!

2009-02-11T09:26:00.000-08:00

Today Joshua is a manly 9 years old! The last year he will be single digits. Today he will say "It's my birthday!" but tomorrow he'll probably be telling people he's "almost 10!"

Isn't it ironic that when you're a kid all you want is to be older but when you're older you wish you were a bit younger? Or at least that you felt a bit younger?

When I was a kid I hated nap time and bed time, now I long for it! When did, "Do you want to go to bed early?" become a promise instead of a threat?

Or how about time out? "Do you need a time out?"

YES! Please, oh please send me to my room!

We have a few birthday traditions around here that we'll be doing for Josh today. One is you get to choose dinner on your birthday. It can be whatever the birthday person wants.

What did Josh choose? Well his dad can rock a barbecue so it's no surprise that he chose bbq'd ribs! I think the Lord gave Jon a gift too because the sun is out and that will make his job much more pleasant. Nothing like barbecuing in the rain (or snow! He's done both.) In addition to the ribs Josh requested potato chips and brussel sprouts sauteed in a little bit of olive oil.

He's a weird kid but then I love brussel sprouts too so he comes by it naturally. (Did I just admit I'm weird? Don't answer that!)

Another tradition we have is they pick the type of cake they want and I build it right up to the basic coat of frosting. Then they pick a couple of colors and I set up the frosting bags and tips. They decorate their own cake however they want it. Lots of fun for them and I don't have to do it. :) I started this because they keep wanting these big elaborate cakes when they have a party but they also get one on their birthday. I really don't have it in me to do the whole production twice and they always want in on the action. This way we're both happy. :)

My very favorite birthday tradition is one we started a few years ago. We all take turns praying a blessing on the birthday person. Jon starts it since he's the Dad and head of the family, then it goes to me and on around the table until everyone has had a chance to pray. I love hearing my husband pray blessings on his children! He prays for their character and integrity, for wisdom and discernment, that the Lord would reveal Himself to them and they would seek and serve the Lord all the days of their lives and whatever else comes to his mind. It's really beautiful and I think the kids treasure it as much as we do. We all get our turn but my favorite is listening to Jon. :)

It took us a year before I became pregnant with Josh and during that time I prayed a lot for a son. I remember being a little bit discouraged at one point and then giving my desire for a boy up to the Lord. I decided to leave it in His hands and be content with the two daughters I already had if that's all He wanted to give me. I finished praying that morning then opened my bible to Psalm 127:

Unless the Lord builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the Lord guards the city,
The watchman stays awake in vain.
It is vain for you to rise up early,
To sit up late,
To eat the bread of sorrows;
For so He gives His beloved sleep.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one's youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

Verses 3-5 really comforted me that day and I knew I was going to have a son. I believed it was a promise from God. I found out I was pregnant on Father's Day. It was pretty cool to tell Jon he was going to be a daddy again on that day. :) Later an ultrasound revealed that I was in fact having a boy and Jon was ecstatic!

Later, when I was in the hospital after having had my son our pastor at the time came to visit us. Jon had gone for something to eat so it was just me and Josh when he and his wife came in. We chatted for a couple of minutes then he pulled out his bible. He told me he'd been praying for us that morning and that the Lord had given him a verse for us; Psalm 127:3-5. He had no idea what that meant to me but the Lord Himself had just reminded me of His promise and I was so blessed!

Nine years later, though at times I am vexed and perplexed by this boy, I am still blessed. I don't understand his need to side kick everything in his path (and we're working on curtailing that!) I swear the boy has an entire sound effects department in his head and he drives me nuts at times but he is also charming, sweet, compassionate and has a definite sense of justice.

His name is Joshua and it means "The Lord is salvation." May he always remember that.

Facebook

2009-02-10T17:23:00.000-08:00

Several months ago I, along with everyone else it seems, created a Facebook profile. I had it for a few months but didn't really get into it. I think it was mostly because I was so busy I just didn't want one more thing taking up my time. Once we realized we would be making a change I decided to delete my profile rather than have people wondering what to do with me once I'd left. I didn't want anyone to worry about whether it was mean to delete me even though they never spoke to me or saw me anymore.

I was pretty glad to do it because like I said, I was super busy and just really didn't want to deal with it. All the poking and sending of little gifts, it seemed like every time I signed on I had about a million notifications to deal with. So I went offline in that respect and never intended to go back on.

Yeah, well, that didn't last very long because every family member and friend I have continuously asked me if I was "on Facebook." Nope, I was the last human in the United States who didn't have a profile it seemed!

I'm ?? years old and I gave in to peer pressure!

Yeah, I got all signed back up with a new e-mail so I didn't cause the problem I'd hoped to avoid the first time. Got my profile set up, put some pictures up and found a few people to be my friend. I think I had maybe four that first day and they were all related to me. At first I wanted to be totally incognito and not let anyone know I was on but then I kind of figured that defeated the purpose so I loosened my controls up a little bit.

Very, very quickly I began having things thrown at me (meatpies, Obama, Michael Phelps, groundhogs, etc.) I was also wrapped in bubble wrap, drop kicked, I was slapped with a trout, fought crime with someone and flashdanced with someone else. I've been given chocolates, strawberries, cupcakes, cocoa; I'm so glad these are all virtual and I don't have to count calories for them!

I have even adopted a pet dragon that I named Dibl and have to spend some time playing with him or he gets very sad. I also have to play with the pets that belong to my friends because it would just be rude not to.

One thing that's gotten me this time around is just how small Facebook (and apps. like it) make the world. I'm connected to family and friends in several different states as well as other countries. People I would only e-mail occasionally before I now converse with several times a week. (I'm really enjoying that part!) I've also reconnected with people I haven't talked to in 10 - 15 years! People I used to go to church with and lost touch, people who were friends years ago that I haven't kept in contact with...it's been very fun in that respect.

Today while I was waiting for my bread to autolyse (read; while I was wasting time) I started searching around. On a whim I decided to search for my old Junior High and it turns out there is already a group! I didn't join but I did spend some time poking around.

It brought back a lot of memories! I was there in the mid-eighties when were were just finishing up our disco phase and going into the flashdance phase. I remember it being all big hair and braces, bell bottoms (do you remember Seattle Blues and Normandy Rose jeans?) and bare shoulders. I sacrificed several sweatshirts so I could look that cool! We had Duran Duran, Culture Club, Madonna...how could we not be cool?!

Ok, flashback is over. I really don't have anything spiritual or insightful to say here. I'm going to go read that verse about "redeeming the time" now. :D

But first I have to feed my dragon...

Do I trust you Lord, when I don't know "Why"?

2009-02-09T12:46:00.000-08:00

I was in Half Price books one day and picked up the Hans Christian Anderson’s Complete Book of Fairy Tales. As I was flipping through it on the ride home I happened upon a story about a mother whose child was dying. In the story a man knocks at her door and she lets him in. After he’s seated himself she goes to get him some food but when she comes back into the room not only is he gone but he’s taken her dying child as well.

The mother goes outside to find him and is told that he was death and had taken her child. For most of the rest of the story she’s not only chasing him down but she’s also trading various parts of herself for information on where he’s taken her child. She gives her hair, her eyes and so on because nothing is more important to her than regaining the life of her child. Finally she’s told that the lives of all people are stored in this green house and that she will know the plant that represents her child by listening for its heartbeat. She did find hers and when death showed up to “replant” her child into a new garden she threatened to uproot all the other plants to save her child.

Death explained to her that he only did what he did at God’s bidding and could not do otherwise. The mother argued so death, having retrieved her eyes for her had her look into a well that showed the future of two lives, one of which was her child’s. One life was full of hope and promise, the other was bleak, dark and very unhappy. So unhappy that the mother was finally willing to let go of her child if it meant sparing her from that kind of a future.

It was a sad, strange story that captured my attention and wouldn't let me go until I'd finished reading it.

After reflecting on the story for awhile I came to realize that we are often just like the mother in the story. Whether it's my child or something going on in my life I tend to want to control the situation. Sometimes the pain seems unbearable and I don't understand why I'm going through what I am, or why my loved one is suffering the way they are.

As far as this story is concerned, I know if it were my child I would probably follow the same path she did. I thought the story, while strange, was a very good illustration of why we need to choose to trust God even when we don't understand. Or maybe it should read; "especially when we don't understand." He sees the big picture and while some of the things that enter our lives are painful, He can be trusted.

These are not things He just missed and let slip through! No, anything in your life whether you perceive it as good or bad, has been allowed for a specific purpose.

We have to be very careful that we don’t confuse the true and living God of the bible with the soft, squishy marshmallow god of this world. The world wants a god who is molded to the shape they want him to take. They want a god of good times who will make everything easy and smooth. The god of least resistance, but this false god of smooth roads, upbeat outcomes and personal happiness is not real.

The true and living God is nothing like this false idol, He is far bigger, someone much greater!

For the True, Incarnate and Almighty God has never spared his people from pain and hardship if there were greater things to be gained.

Jesus never promised to help us avoid life’s storms but to be with us in the midst of them.

Jesus never promised Mary and Martha that their brother would not die, but He did promise that He himself was the resurrection and the life.

He never promised that we would not hunger, but He did promise to be the Bread of Life.

God never promised to keep his people out of the fiery furnace but rather to show up when the flames burned their hottest.

The Biblical God, the Incarnate God, our redeeming God, our merciful God never said that He would save us from the storm, but He did promise to be with us through the storm.

Some promises He did make to us . . .

“Lo, I am with you always”,
“let not your heart be troubled”,
“I will never leave you nor forsake you”,
“let not your hearts be afraid. Believe in God, Believe in Me.”

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

His goodness may not always manifest itself as we think it should but it is always perfect and exactly what we need. And then we have the joy and the privilege of giving that comfort away...

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

The Crown

2009-02-07T14:46:00.000-08:00

Sunday morning...busy, rushed, with four kids to get up and ready, sometimes chaotic. That is how this particular Sunday began. We had rushed through the morning and my brain was still in that hurried mode even though now we were nearing the end of the church service.

As I sat in the very back of the room I vaguely remember the pastor saying something about tossing our crowns at the feet of Jesus. Now in my defense, I was listening but we were preparing for communion and I was already focused on it. When the pastor mentioned throwing our crowns though I thought, "My crown is looking pretty beat up Lord."

It was one of those half hearted comments that I sincerely felt but didn't really think the Lord would address.

I was wrong.

As I sat there with my head in my hands, feeling so discouraged, I suddenly saw a scene far different than the back of that church. I was surrounded by hundreds or even thousands of people and every single one of them had in their hands a beautiful crown. One by one they were tossing them in a big pile and just beyond that pile were feet. I didn't dare look up at the face that belonged to those feet, I knew without looking whose they were...

I looked down at my hands where I too held a crown, my crown. It was the saddest looking thing I have ever seen. Tears sprang to my eyes as I took in the cracked plastic and the chipped, tarnished paint. In places the dull plastic "jewels" had completely fallen out leaving ugly black holes.

How, oh how could I give this awful thing to Him?!!

But I had nothing else to give Him.

I tried to hide among all the those people. I held my "crown" behind me hoping against hope that He wouldn't see it. I could feel the panic rising in me as I realized there was no way out of it, I had to put it on the pile with all those real crowns. Sure that my fake, dollar store looking piece of trash was going to stick out like a sore thumb. I tossed it, deliberately throwing it on the side of the pile closest to me hoping He would miss it in favor of another, far more worthy crown.

He didn't.

Though I hadn't even been looking at His feet I sensed that they were moving. Stealing a furtive glance toward the throne, I could see that I was right; He had gotten up and was walking...right...to....where....my....crown....lay.

I stood perfectly still hoping that those in front of me were keeping me hidden from His view. He stooped down and picked the crown up, turning it over in His hands a few times as He studied it. I hadn't known that it was possible for it to look any uglier than it had but against His beautiful hands it was the most hideous thing I had ever seen! Then He began walking straight to me. I kept my gaze trained on the ground, I simply couldn't bear the thought of what I would read in His eyes. His feet stopped and I could feel Him looking at the top of my head. I knew He wanted me to look at Him and I tried in vain to fight it. Finally, I could stand it no longer and I slowly shifted my gaze upward. Past His hands holding the ugly crown, up His face until finally my eyes met His.

I did not see what I had expected.

His eyes were kind and crinkled ever so slightly at the edges in a gentle smile. Instead of the reproach and condemnation that I had feared I saw empathy, compassion and most of all an overwhelming love. I could scarcely breath as I stood there, lost in His gaze. I was in awe of Him and His response to me.

Finally, He dropped his eyes back down to His hands. Oh how I hated the thought of looking there again! I knew He wanted me to though and I couldn't resist Him. I tore my eyes away from His face and gasped when I saw what He held.

Where my ugly, broken crown had been now rested the most exquisitely made crown I had ever seen. Clean, sparkling...with the most intricate workmanship imaginable. Every detail was perfect! And the jewels? Oh the jewels!! Clear and shimmering they almost seemed to have a life of their own!

He held the crown out to me and with trembling hands I reached out to take it back from Him. As He placed it in my hands I realized that my life was like that crown. Left in my own hands it would never be what it could be, what it was meant to be until, placed in His. Freely given to Him though, He will change it into something wonderful, something I never would have expected.

My eyes refocused on the elements of communion resting in my hands and I was overcome with His generosity once again. I have never had a sweeter time of communion.

Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself. 2 Timothy 2:13

Coming back...

2009-02-06T12:57:00.000-08:00

I'm working on a blog post, I just can't get the thoughts in my head to become the right words on the page! So, until I do I thought I'd post a quick little quote I picked up somewhere. It's a good reminder to me. And I promise, I'm working on a new post. :)

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny..

People Pictures...

2008-12-31T11:18:00.001-08:00

We desperately need to go have a family portrait done but until then I'll just continue to be snap happy with the digital. :) Here are some we took on Christmas Eve. My kids clean up nicely!

Can you see the "Mother!" look in her eyes! lol (I made her pose for me.)

He was so cute...

...his sisters wanted to eat him up...

...and I wanted a bite too! :D

Gracie was just plain wore out!

I don't like to have my picture taken (because like every other woman I think I look ugly!) but I've decided lately that I want to make sure there are pictures of me with my kids, no matter how I look. I actually liked how this one turned out (mostly because Jessica looks so pretty.) I seriously need to get to Sally's and color my hair though! Seriously!

Here's one of my two very favorite men! Aren't they handsome!? :)

And here's me with my girls! Gracie had just woke up and wasn't really interested in a photo op!

How I'd like you to think they always look....

REALITY!!!

Photos of the Arctic Assault

2008-12-27T20:45:00.000-08:00

Oh, the carnage! Let us have a moment of silence for my poor gazebo and table.

A close up of the shattered glass and bent legs....

But it wasn't all bad. Some of it was quite pretty and the kids had a ball!

Focus!

2008-12-23T16:02:00.000-08:00

This is my note to self. It's my reminder that IT'S ALL ABOUT JESUS!

We've had quite a dramatic few weeks with an arctic blast that brought freezing cold temperatures and burst water pipes that flood garages. Snow that my husband navigated like a professional until he pulled off to help a neighbor who was stuck. . . then it was our turn!

My Suburban slid into the front yard of one of our neighbors (the one who loves his lawn no less!)Some other neighbors came out and they all got our car chained up and Jon had to continue on through the neighbor's yard to get us unstuck. A plate of cookies and an apology and all was well so that worked out okay. Fortunately the snow is so deep we didn't even touch his grass.

Then there are the power outages. Normally for us a power outage is an inconvenience and even fun. We usually like them because we pull out the games and light the candles. The kids laugh at my attempts to secure a flashlight in a strategic position so I can continue knitting (have you ever tried to tie a flashlight to your head? It doesn't work very well! I keep hinting for one of those miner's hats or something but so far, no luck!)

However, right now, I am so sick of power outages!! Our power has been out five times in the last week and it's still blinking on and off sporadically. This isn't good when you're in the middle of holiday baking! Our longest stretch was 13 hours so it hasn't been as bad as other times. (We were off for three days the year we decided to put in a wood stove.) But when you have a mile long to do list it's very frustrating.

Then there is the weather! My fudge and divinity hate me this year because of the weather! Two feet of snow in the front yard apparently affects how the stuff turns out (or doesn't!) I was up until two o'clock in the morning trying to get the fudge to work out! Now I have a lovely tub of fudge frosting in my freezer for the next cake I make but I finally gave it up and went to bed. This morning I did some more and while it isn't the best fudge I've ever made at least it isn't soup. In fact, it's pretty dry and crumbly!

As my grandma used to say, "I can't win for losin'!" I don't really no what that means but she always used it in situations like this, lol.

I had just finished mixing up the dough for dinner rolls when our power started flashing on and off again. I think my brain short circuited and I just about lost it. Or maybe I did lose it, it's all kind of hazy to me. You could ask my kids but I think my head may have spun around a few times. I know I was grumbling about fudge (haven't mastered the "do all things without grumbling and complaining" verse yet apparently.)

Then I threw up my hands and yelled: "IT'S ALL ABOUT JESUS!!! IT'S NOT ABOUT FUDGE! IT'S ABOUT JESUS!!"

I'm not sure where that came from but now it's my theme and reminder of what I need to be worrying about right now; namely, nothing! Because it IS all about Jesus. Yeah, we like all the holiday trappings; pretty lights and decorations, yummy food and tasty treats and yes, I do like getting presents. I won't pretend I don't! I am a big kid when it comes to Christmas and all the trimmings and I think that's okay, as long as I remember:

IT'S ALL ABOUT JESUS!

I told my kids that if they see me getting all kerbobbled (I like that word from "The Grinch" movie) they need to give me a hug and tell me it's all about Jesus. Or, they can start singing "Jesus is my Friend!" to remind me and help me regain my focus.

We do have water again and can now do laundry since Jon (with the help of our very highly esteemed friend Mike) fixed the pipes. Jessica just made some butter toffee and the rolls are about ready to be shaped. I have four healthy kids and a wonderful, doting husband who is my best friend. The snow is beautiful and my house is all dressed up for Christmas. We have enough food that we are all well insulated and though the finances of the world are in chaos, our Lord has continued to provide abundantly for us.

I have a lot to thank Him for but most of all for the reason we are celebrating right now; His great love for me that caused Him to leave the glory of heaven and be born into a lowly, filthy manger surrounded by stinky animals only to grow up to be mocked, abused, rejected and finally die on a cross to take the penalty for my sin.

All because He loves me. And all because He loves you.

I have to go bake some pecan pies now but my prayer is that I would remember each and every day of the year:

IT'S ALL ABOUT JESUS.

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Jesus.

Let's Play Dress Up!

2008-10-31T14:56:00.000-07:00

Our whole family is taking Tae Kwon Do together from a great guy here in town. Every year near Halloween he asks the students to dress up in costumes for class. He has a few parameters (nothing disgusting or immodest and you have to be able to actually do TKD while wearing your costume). While our family typically doesn't dress up for Halloween we decided to go ahead and dress up for the class.

I must say it was A LOT of fun! I laughed so hard that it was difficult to actually do the moves. :)

Arielle decided to be "Miss Piggy", reporter pig from the Muppets in Space movie:

Jessica decided to be a Jedi Knight (mostly because she is a low key kind of person. I have no idea where she gets that from!)

Joshua went as "Rex" from Napolean Dynamite (you know, RexKwondo! Josh even had his lines down. He was so stinkin cute!!)

What else would Gracie be besides a princess? She is of course a darling little princess so we never try to get her to be anything else. It wouldn't be right! :)

Here I am with Richard Simmons! I was so excited to get to do a "Sweatin' to the Oldies" infomercial with him!!! (Or was that "Sweatin' Oldies"? lol) Jon was a crack up! He had his lines down too and had the instructor in stitches. I ended up as his groupy but originally I was going as "Hannah middle age Montana, another child star out of touch with reality" but I didn't think my costume worked. When I got there though a couple of the girls asked me if I was supposed to be her. :P All I know is, I was reeeeeeeeeaaaaal shineeeeee! Jessica told me she wouldn't lose me in that get up. I asked her if that was good or bad. She never did answer me!

And of course this wouldn't be complete without the picture of our instructor; front and back. He was really hamming it up. You have never had an abs workout until you've tried to do TKD while laughing hysterically!

My Anniversary...

2008-10-20T12:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our 17th anniversary and except for that one year where we mostly wanted to kill each other, they've been wonderful years! :D (Oh come on, everybody has times like that! Don't pretend you don't!)

Last year for our anniversary Jon took me to dinner and the Symphony and it was wonderful. I loved it and felt so fancy.

This year we did something a little different; we went shooting!

Over the past several months I've gotten into shooting handguns and I've found I really like it. We have a membership at a range that's not too far from us and we try to get there a couple of times month. It's nice because it's something we can do together that we both really enjoy.

Well, for our anniversary yesterday we went into Everett to Sam's Gun Shop and Range and my darling husband rented out the .45 caliber handguns for me. I got to shoot any and all of them that I wanted and it was so fun! He's such a gentleman that he would let me shoot them first and when I wanted a new one he'd go get it for me.

These are the guns I got to shoot yesterday:

XD45 Tactical: Really liked this one but it's a bit too big for my hand. I love the way it shoots; recoil is nice and it's very accurate.

Smith & Wesson M&P: This one has the changeable backstraps but I think they had the medium on the one at the range. I've held it with the small backstrap and that fits me much better. Jon liked the cocking serrations but wasn't impressed with it. We both liked the XD better.

Kimber ProCarry 3" barrel .45: Sigh. I have a love affair with Kimbers. This one was a bit sassy being so small but I still liked it well enough that I sent Jon back to the counter to get it for me to shoot again after I was done with the others. The one they had was plain black so of course I'd want a prettier one but as far as shooting, it was a nice little gun. Fit me almost as well as my EMP. DH liked it so well that he said if he didn't already have the ProCarry II with a 4" barrel he'd be wanting that one.

FNH .45 (but I haven't a clue what model it was!) I didn't like this one. The checkering on the grip chewed up my hand so it hurt to shoot it. I also didn't like the trigger. It was a long pull and very spongy. I kept squeezing it wondering if it was ever going to break! The reset was short but then you had the long spongy pull. (It felt like there was a marshmallow behind the trigger.) Jon only put four rounds through it and I only did three.

Kimber Custom Carry 5" barrel .45: It was nice but we both liked Jon's Kimber a little bit better. Maybe it was because it's a range gun and has taken some abuse, maybe it's the difference in the grips that were on it. I don't know but while I didn't hate it, I didn't love it like Jon's Kimber.

Kimber ProCarry II 4" barrel .45: Jon owns this one and was gentleman enough to let me shoot it again. Sigh. I love this gun. It feels wonderful in the hand, nicely balanced, beautiful trigger and the recoil isn't a big deal. He's got a stainless frame and slide so it's pretty too! Lovely, lovely gun. (He's not real sure he likes me referring to his gun as "lovely" though.)

Springfield EMP 9mm: This one is my baby and I'm still loving her. It fits my hand beautifully and shooting it is fantastic. I am looking for a .45 but this one will never be ignored! Very accurate and I haven't had one issue with it. I don't think I've ever had a FTF or FTE on this little gun. She's still my favorite.

Sig P229 9MM and .40: We love them both. I had to shoot them, I still had ammo! As always, I love the Sigs. They both shoot great and feel wonderful in my hand. The frame is a teeny bit large for me but I just really don't care with these! lol The 9 mm was my first gun and you know how it is with your first love! They've just come out with the .22 conversion kit for these and I'm wondering how long we'll be able to hold out. We have the Mosquito .22 that is designed just like it's bigger counter parts but neither of us like to shoot it as well as our bigger ones. Since my 14 yo has pretty much claimed the Mosquito as her own I need the conversion kit, right?

We had a great time playing with all of these guns. Then we went into the store and ogled all the guns in the case. When we were done we went and got a big steak dinner. All in all a perfect anniversay date. (Well, near perfect. I didn't come home with a new gun or anything so there is that. )

When I was shooting last night I was thinking back to when I first shot at Sam's. I was very nervous and scared because it was afterall, a gun. It counted every bullet out of my 9 mm that day and was relieved to be done but since I used to shoot (and like it) I was determined to enjoy it again. Like anything, once you learn some basics and get used to the whole process you can relax a little and enjoy yourself. It was cool to be standing there shooting any .45 I could get my hands on when just a few short months ago I was barely able to make myself shoot the 9 mm!

If you live in my area, lots of ranges have ladies night on Mondays....see you there! :D

My current favorite song...

2008-10-10T11:05:00.000-07:00

I don't know how to get the actual song up on here so I can only give you the lyrics. However, if you want to hear it go buy the new Chris Tomlin CD; Hello Love. As usual, Chris has a tremendously worshipful collection of songs that just make you want to throw your hands in the air and sing at the top of your lungs or fall on your face in adoration of The One True King. When I first listened to this song I couldn't help but cry.

All the Way My Savior Leads Me
Chris Tomlin

All the way my Savior leads me;
Who have I to ask beside?
How could I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my guide?

All the way my Savior leads me;
Cheers each winding path I tread,
Gives me grace for every trial,
Feeds me with the living Bread.

You lead me and keep me from falling.
You carry me close to Your heart.
And surely Your goodness and
Mercy will follow me.

All the way my Savior leads me;
O, the fullness of His love!
O, the sureness of His promise

In the triumph of His blood!

And when my spirit clothed immortal
Wings it's flight to realms of day,
This my song through endless ages:
Jesus led me all the way!
Jesus led me all the way!

All the way my Savior leads me.
All the way my Savior leads me.

Comforted...

2008-10-09T22:02:00.000-07:00

Psalm 33

Rejoice in the LORD, O you righteous!
For praise from the upright is beautiful.

Praise the LORD with the harp;
Make melody to Him with an instrument of ten strings.

Sing to Him a new song;
Play skillfully with a shout of joy.

For the word of the LORD is right,
And all His work is done in truth.

He loves righteousness and justice;
The earth is full of the goodness of the LORD.

By the word of the LORD the heavens were made,
And all the host of them by the breath of His mouth.

He gathers the waters of the sea together as a heap;
He lays up the deep in storehouses.

Let all the earth fear the LORD;
Let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of Him.

For He spoke, and it was done;
He commanded, and it stood fast.

The LORD brings the counsel of the nations to nothing;
He makes the plans of the peoples of no effect.

The counsel of the LORD stands forever,
The plans of His heart to all generations.

Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,
The people He has chosen as His own inheritance.

The LORD looks from heaven;
He sees all the sons of men.

From the place of His dwelling He looks
On all the inhabitants of the earth;

He fashions their hearts individually;
He considers all their works.

No king is saved by the multitude of an army;
A mighty man is not delivered by great strength.

A horse is a vain hope for safety;
Neither shall it deliver any by its great strength.

Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear Him,
On those who hope in His mercy,

To deliver their soul from death,
And to keep them alive in famine.

Our soul waits for the LORD;
He is our help and our shield.

For our heart shall rejoice in Him,
Because we have trusted in His holy name.

Let Your mercy, O LORD, be upon us,

Just as we hope in You.

Father God, I thank You for sustaining me today. I thank You that You are made perfect in my weakness. Your grace is sufficient for me. I thank You that Your steadfast love never ceases and Your mercies are new every morning. You say in Your Word that mourning may come for a night, but the new day will bring gladness. Bless me with a healing night's sleep. Restore unto me the joy of my salvation. Help me to stay on the path that leads to life.

Cake Blog

2008-07-30T09:19:00.000-07:00

I have created yet another blog!

People keep asking to see my cakes so I decided to create a blog that is just cake photos. I figured this would make it easier on those looking to see them since they won't have to wade through all kinds of back posts to find what they want to look at. :) I may occasionally post a cake on here but I think for the most part they will go to the new one.

Hopefully I'll actually post something worth reading on this one from time to time! :)

Shannon actually named this blog without even knowing it: FranCakes (of course!)

Fun with Fondant...

2008-07-22T09:47:00.000-07:00

I've been taking another cake class, this time on fondant. It's a type of frosting that is rolled out and has a kind of a chewy texture, sort of like a tootsie roll. I have made fondant out of marshmallows (tastes like marshmallows and powdered sugar) and I've made one with white chocolate (that tasted good!) I do plan to explore some of the other flavorings because I can never leave well enough alone. :)

This first cake is the class cake we did. It's my first ever cake covered in fondant and it was pretty fun stuff to work with! I took it to church and fed it to everyone there so I didn't even eat a piece of this one! It was white cake with raspberry filling and buttercream under the marshmallow fondant.

These next ones are baby shower cupcakes that I did for my Sister in law, Michelle. I loved making these little guys! I thought they turned out pretty cute too! :) The cupcakes were chocolate with chocolate ganache filling. I frosted them with regular buttercream then put the white chocolate fondant decorations on top.

Some are awake and some are sleeping...

They have little bitty binkies (star shaped cookie decorations)...

I did twenty nine of them total and it took me HOURS!!!!

All the blankets are different too...

My Birthday Present!

2008-06-02T10:18:00.000-07:00

My birthday is this week and my darling husband bought me my gift on Saturday. We had stopped into Costco in Issaquah on our way home from a family memorial service. We can never seem to go into Costco and buy just what we came for. We always wander around and look at everything and inevitably something jumps into our cart that we hadn't planned to buy.

Well, this time it was an expensive kitchen toy for me. :) I have killed so many blenders that just my presence on the blender aisle of your local store will set them all to trembling! You can hear their glass jars rattling on their bases when I'm near! :D I've even had to replace parts several times on my Bosch blender attachment! If you have a Bosch Universal with blender you know that those are decent blenders and yet, I've maimed mine repeatedly. :(

Because of this unnatural skill for blender killing I have been eyeballing a Vitamix for some time. I never thought I'd get one because they are very expensive and my husband, as sweet as he is, just didn't know why you'd want to spend that much on a blender!

Until he saw the guy in Costco drop entire apples, oranges and other big chunks of fruits and vegetables into that big bad boy!! He topped it all off with a mound of ice and let'er rip! Even I was amazed and I'd been ogling them for months!

I think the thing that sold him though was when the guy said it spun at 37,000 RPMs. When Jon realized it went faster than his favorite router the power hungry tool man in him rose to the surface and I got a fancy pants new blender for my birthday! Yay me!!!

We love smoothies at our house so it will be great for those alone. Add to that the fact that you can make soups, gravies and a bunch of other stuff right in the blender and I'm in love! And when I say soup, I mean start to finish put whole vegetables in the thing and it will actually cook it! You pour out of your pitcher and right into your bowl!

We love those JetTea smoothies you can get at the local coffee stand so the first thing I did was head straight for Cash n Carry for my own mix. We had Caramel Apple JetTea smoothies last night (and at $4 each at a stand we will pay for my Vitamix with those alone!)

Know what's even better? This morning I made my kids smoothies for breakfast. I'll tell you what they ate but don't tell them! :)

I put the following ingredients in:

10 oz crushed pineapple and juice (it was canned)

1 small banana

2 whole carrots (peel and all, scrubbed)

2 TBS whole flax seed

1/3 cup flaked oat groats (that would be old fashioned oatmeal)

1/3 cup 2% cottage cheese

2 TBS Davinci's coffee syrup - Raspberry flavor

Ice

When I was done grinding all of that up it was silky smooth and they drank it while exclaiming how good it was. I have a new tool in my quest to practice vegetable subterfuge. :D

This concoction has:

213 Calories

3.43 g fat

.43 sat. fat

.40 poly.

.39 mono.

1.49 chol.

109 sodium

294 potassium

40.5 carbs

5.26 fiber

7.02 protien

And oodles of vitamins and minerals.

My family teases me that I already put nuts, twigs, rocks and small woodland creatures in the bread I bake but now nothing is safe in my kitchen! :D

If you come over I'd be happy to make you a smoothie but I have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy on what's in there! :P

(Mine is just the like the one pictured but it's white. I could have ordered the black one with free shipping for the same price but I wanted the instant gratification.)

I'm off to the produce stand!

Stuck in my head...

2008-05-29T22:02:00.001-07:00

I've had this song running through my head for a couple of weeks now. We used to sing it at our home fellowship group but it's been over a year since I last sang it there. Maybe the Lord just brought it back to my mind because of the things going on around me lately.

It's been my song and my prayer...

Lord here I am
Nothing you should treasure
Still you do, I'm your child
Mercy beyond measure
Lord to will, and to do
All things for your pleasure
May the Heart of Jesus be in me

Jesus remind me
I live for your glory
Lord let the world see
Your Spirit inside me

Lord let me love them like you do...

I don't know if I have the words right and I suppose I could go look them up in Jon's song book but he's sleeping and I don't want to disturb him. At any rate, that's how I've been singing it. :)

I love the reminder that it isn't about me, it's supposed to be all about Him. I long for the world to see Him living through me. I hope they don't see me at all but I'm afraid too often they do.

But how comforting to be reminded that though I'm not anything to treasure, He calls me His child anyway. No matter what anyone else says or thinks, I am His child and He has mercy beyond measure for me.

I long to love people the way He does, with the same limitless mercy. How hard it is! Especially when they do hurtful things; to me or to people I dearly love. Mercy beyond measure, for me and for them.

I'll keep singing and praying because I'm not there yet, but He loves me anyway.

Lord here I am...

May Birthdays

2008-05-28T13:11:00.000-07:00

Well, I had two cake opportunities this month because Jon's birthday is the 13th and Gracie's is the 15th. For Jon's I just made a little 6" cake for our family. He asked for a caramel apple cake so the cake itself was a yellow butter cake. The first layer was moistened with apple cider syrup with butterscotch caramel spread over it. The middle layer was again moisted with apple cider syrup but then I sauteed some apples in brown sugar and butter and spread those on when it had cooled. The top layer was the syrup and butterscotch again. Then I frosted it with buttercream and topped it off with more caramel.

It was definately a diet buster but it tasted pretty darn good if I do say so myself! :) Here's a pic of the sliced cake (note the gooey caramel dripping down...)

Now Gracie's cake was a little bit larger. We had a few friends over to share it with us and did a very low key birthday for her. From the moment I got a certain cake book she had her heart set on a Tinkerbell cake (only she pronounces it "Tinklebell") In the book it was blue and purple but this being Gracie we had to change it to pink. It was a fun cake to make and she loved it.

It was a yellow cake with strawberry moistening syrup, a thin layer of buttercream and sliced fresh strawberries on the bottom layer. The middle layer again had the syrup with a vanilla meringue disk and a thin layer of buttercream. The top layer was a repeat of the first. Then the whole thing was frosted with more buttercream. I liked that one too and now I need to take up jogging or something! :)

Here's Gracie's cake:

New Profile Pic...

2008-03-20T15:50:00.000-07:00

Well, I figured it was time I came out of the closet so to speak and showed you the real me. This is more likely how I'll look if you drop by unexpectedly (either that or in my PJ's!)

So, there you have it.

Me, threatening my husband with a rolling pin while he laughs at my "fierce" expression.

Yes, there is flour all over my kitchen. You can't see it but there was a lot of frosting around the place too!

Either this makes you want to live with me or run away screaming.

Vast

2008-03-19T19:00:00.000-07:00

We scurried through our morning at church, got all of our details tended to and Pastor Chris drove us In to Seatac for our flight out. Too rushed notice any fear or excitement we dashed through this line and hustled through that one. Finally clear of all the different check points and with my shoes firmly back on my feet, I realized I was famished! Fortunately, the food selections are like hitting an upscale mall food court and we both found something we liked without having to take out a second mortgage on our house. Finding a seat in that crowded area was much more difficult but we did finally manage it. I felt compelled to finish my fish and chips quickly so I could give my chair up to one of the other souls wandering aimlessly with their food tray, hoping for a vacant seat.

We peered in all the little shops and gawked at the planes on the tarmac before finally wandering up to our departure gate. As we sat there waiting for our flight to arrive I couldn't keep my eyes off the little princess who kept dancing around in front of her mom and grandma. She was around my Gracie's age and I think they would have become good friends if that sparkly crown on her head was any indication of her love of all things pink and sparkly. I watched her for awhile, already missing my little chick before my eyes shifted to the older girls who were quite excited to be going to Disneyland. They could barely contain themselves as they heard someone say our plane had arrived. They were traveling with their parents, grandparents and their aunts and uncles. It was quite the production! I became good friends with their little 5 month old cousin. He had the sweetest little round head and drooly grin! I wanted to pluck him from his mommy's arms and squeeze him but that is generally looked down upon if you don't know the person. :)

My personal secretary Kim made the flight arrangements for us and since she loves me I got the window seat. ;) My poor husband was squeezed in the middle and feeling claustrophobic so I scooted over as far as I could to give him some elbow room. It must have been enough because he relaxed and leaned across me to peer out the window too. I never get tired of the view out that postage stamp sized window. As we lifted off and the ground fell away below us all the familiar landmarks grew smaller and smaller. The rivers withdrew until they resembled silvery ribbons strewn haphazardly across the landscape, but it's always the mountains that get me. Suspended there between the earth and sky I peered out at the mountains which now looked like rumpled bedclothes beneath us and I was in awe of my God. My view is usually restricted to what is right in front of my face. I deal with the here and now, day to day stuff and forget there is a bigger picture to be seen. But when you're 30,000 feet up and the usually majestic mountains now look like nothing more than fudgy ripples in a bowl of cake batter your perspective changes.

I realized again how great He is and how small I am. How could One so vast, so amazing see such a tiny little speck in the grand scheme of things? But He does and not only does He see me, He loves me. I was surrounded by people on that flight but for a time I forgot they existed. I was alone with Him as He showed me the beauty etched with His hand. I sat in wonder as He spoke to my spirit of the things to come when I finally see Him face to face.

I can't wait for that day.

"I will extol You, my God, O King;

And I will bless Your name forever and ever.
Every day I will bless You, And I will praise

Your name forever and ever.
Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised;

And His greatness is unsearchable.
One generation shall praise Your works to another,

And shall declare Your mighty acts.
I will meditate on the glorious splendor of Your majesty,

And on Your wondrous works.
Men shall speak of the might of Your awesome acts,

And I will declare Your greatness.
They shall utter the memory of Your great goodness,

And shall sing of Your righteousness."

Psalm 145:1-7

Time for Tea...

2008-03-18T22:30:00.000-07:00

As far back as I can remember my grandma had a beautiful collection of dainty teacups. When spring break or Christmas vacation would roll around us kids would be shipped off to her house and I would head straight for those colorful cups and saucers. Over the years she'd given up trying to clean them, the arthritis that curled her fingers in like talons made it nearly impossible to wash one without dropping it. Finally, when I was sixteen and had driven myself to her house I was deemed worthy.

The only thing I've ever washed more carefully than those teacups was my first newborn child.

After my grandma passed away all of us girls split the teacups amongst ourselves. The four that I chose were the beginnings of my own collection. I didn't really plan to have a teacup collection I just loved the four I had, but one day my mom noticed them and gave me two of hers. Then my aunt found out and she gave me one too. My husband, picking up on all my "oohing" and "aahing", began to buy them for Mother's day and birthdays and slowly my collection grew. So did the number of people buying them for me as my friends got in on the act too.

I decided that I had better somehow make note of who gave me what so I went through and labeled the bottom of each saucer (because I am getting old you know!) My grandma never used her teacups and except for our yearly Ladies Christmas Tea at church, neither did I. My daughters were much like me, always admiring from afar but never allowed to touch.

Something changed over the past year though. I have decided there is no point in having beautiful things if you're afraid to use them or share them with the ones you love.

~

Our church had a time period where we didn't have a youth group. Since my girls are at that early pre-teen/teen age I really wanted to make sure there was something happening for them regularly to focus on their spiritual growth so we came up with "Disciple Night". Originally the girls and I had planned to go to a coffee shop and have some time together praying and doing a book study. We've found that the intimacy of our dining room table creates a far sweeter time for us. We put piano music on the CD player, dim the lights and spend our discussion time in the flickering glow of candles. We drink tea and eat cookies or whatever other sweet confection is on hand and just enjoy the moment.

When we began doing this they used coffee mugs but tonight I told Jessica and Arielle to pick which teacup they wanted to use. The look in their eyes was a hard to describe combination of excitement, love, awe and a touch of reverence; probably the same look I had when I finally got to wash my grandma's teacups.

Jessica chose a gleaming white cup with one large pale blue rose edged with the tiniest bit of pink and accented with lush green leaves. Arielle's selection was a creamy colored cup with tiny rosebuds strewn all around it. The one spray of rosebuds inside the cup sets it apart. I was amused with how clearly their choices reflected their personalities. Jessica prefers understated elegance, feminine but classy. Arielle is a typical girly girl and loves pink and ruffles. I had a hard time choosing but in the end settled on a delicate alabaster white one decorated with small bouquets of roses trailing elegantly around it. I might be a bit of a girly girl myself. :)

We prayed together, read our chapter and discussed it and prayed again. We laughed and giggled, we talked about God and being content with what He's given us. We enjoyed each other immensely and when we were done we washed those cups and carefully put them back in their places.

I look at all those delicate, flowery teacups lining my mantle and covering our entertainment center. Perfectly positioned and placed exactly so; beautiful to look at but mostly unused. But when we washed them and brought them to the table and used them as they were intended, they turned an ordinary moment into something extraordinary.

Most of the women I know are like those teacups; they come in an array of beautiful shapes and colors with every flower imaginable represented. Some are being used in the capacity they were created for and they shine and sparkle with purpose. Others remain on the shelf, unaware of their latent beauty; thinking perhaps they resemble a coffee mug more than a finely detailed work of art. They watch the others; wishing and afraid to hope, not realizing that they too were created by the Master for a purpose.

True beauty isn't revealed by self help books, diets or because we've painted ourselves to look like what we think is acceptable. We will only recognize our worth when we see it revealed by Him. He created us exactly the way He wanted to and He doesn't make mistakes. He made you a beautiful work of art; will you allow Him to wash the dust and grime away to reveal the beauty He placed there?

He is worthy and I promise He won't drop you.

Sir Josh!

2008-02-24T20:05:00.000-08:00

Josh's 8th birthday was a couple of weeks ago but as sometimes happens when you have a busy life we just had the party yesterday. Since his mother likes to decorate cakes the boy decided he wanted a castle cake he'd seen in a cake book. To his young mind there was no question as to whether I could actually pull it off or not!

His whole birthday party was planned around this cake.

We invited his friends with a pronouncement of "Hear Ye! Hear Ye!" written on scrolls we'd made. All the "squires" were invited to the "trials". If they successfully completed them they would be knighted by King Jon at the end of the party.

We had them decorate tunics with their crest (they colored clearance pillow cases with fabric markers and then put them on. We tied brown rope around their waists for the leather belt.)

Next they went outside and decorated their shields which were made of cardboard. When that was done they began the trials. The first thing they had to do was run the obstacle coarse. They started in the back yard where we paired them up. They had to run from the back yard, around one side of the house where there was a "log in the forest that they had to jump with their horses" (we put a board down that they had to jump over). From there they traversed the great desert (the front yard) and ran until they reached the "castle" which blocked their passage into the back yard again. They had to climb over or through the castle, run back to the starting point and use the "lance" they'd been carrying to slay their dragon. (The dragons were two saw horses with a green balloon stuck to the end. The lances were foam pipe insulation with a pin stuck in one end).

They had to rescue a maiden (while keeping a balloon aloft with their sword) and they had to find the King's treasure which someone had stolen and scattered throughout the land. And of course their was the opportunity to just sword fight (again made from foam pipe insulation).

I had so much fun watching them! Today we taught Sunday school and several of the boys were in our class. We've heard a few times that it was the best party ever! That makes a mom feel good!

I just hope he doesn't want a party next year because I'm not sure we can top this one! lol

King Jon did knight all the boys (like his crown? We sacrficed a gift bag! lol) Gracie decided to get in on the act and started knighting people too!

Nothing left

2008-02-05T12:41:00.000-08:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

That's how I'm feeling today; just a teeny, tiny bit overwhelmed.

The e-mails have been rolling in like one demanding tsunami wave after another and I began to feel like I was drowning in a sea of "did you? would you? have you? when are you?"

I called Jon to hear a friendly voice and maybe talk myself down from the wall I was about to jump off of.

I told him I'd like to be a cat; they lay around all day sleeping and eating. If they do decide to get up it's to pounce on another cat or walk over to a nice lap for some loving. Mine are laying around like little rugs in front of the woodstove slow roasting their bellies.

I'd definately like to be a cat! He just laughed not understanding how overwhelmed I was feeling. I think he got it when I got all weepy though. He tried to reassure me that we'd get it all figured out and I appreciate his efforts, but that wasn't quite what I needed.

I asked him to remind me of who was in control so he did. He reminded me that God is in charge and all we need to do is seek Him and let Him direct us. I know all of this, I just need to be reminded now and again. I take my eyes off my Lord and get them on the storm and my sinking boat and just like those disciples I start panicking.

Jon and I finished up and I felt a little better. Not much, but a little. Josh and Arielle were sitting at the kitchen table finishing up their lunch and reading bible verses to each other. Arielle said something to me about what they were doing and I replied, "I'm having a nervous breakdown!" She asked me if it would help if she read me a bible verse and I said sure, try to read one that's comforting.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

If you know me, you know that is my life verse. It's the one I cling to when I feel overwhelmed, unsure or out of my league (which pretty much describes me today!) As soon as she began to read I started to laugh. God is not a God who is far off. He is nearby waiting for us to call on Him for help. He's not unaware of my state and He has all I need to do what He's asked of me.

It was like He reached down into my kitchen and tenderly lifted my eyes off my storm and back to His beautiful face.

Thank you

2008-01-26T16:58:00.000-08:00

It appears you want to remain anonymous so I hope you read this post.

To the person who placed the gift in my purse the other day, thank you for allowing the Lord to use you to bless us. Not only did it meet an immediate need but it encouraged me greatly.

You have no idea how much it was appreciated.

:)

Note to self...

2008-01-07T15:41:00.000-08:00

I frequent an online bulletin board and someone posted this there; it's a question to flylady and her response. Unfortunately I will occasionally indulge in this stinkin' thinkin' so I thought I'd copy and paste it here as a reminder to myself . :)

"Dear FlyLady,
How do you stop the martyr feelings when they start to come up? I find this stinking feeling sneaking up on me at times, especially during those busy/stressful times. How can I stop them right away?

Dear Friend,
You said it yourself, "especially during those busy/stressful times. "The secret to stopping those martyr feelings is taking care of yourself. I know you don't believe this. I use an acronym to help me HALT! Don't let yourself get too Hungry, too Angry, too Lonely, or too Tired. When you feel those martyred feelings creeping up on you, I want you to stop and find out which one of these things you have allowed to take over your body.Routines are the key to keeping your brain from going into that martyred stinking thinking! One other thing is the second you realize this is happening to you; BITE YOUR TONGUE! DO NOT ALLOW THOSE MARTYRED WORDS PAST YOUR LIPS. Then go set your timer and take care of yourself. Take deep breaths and focus on what needs to be done. Being a martyr is just another form of whining!- FlyLady"

Ooh, that last line has teeth! It hurt! lol I would add that if I am not in the Word and spending time in prayer then I am much, much more likely to indulge in those "I'm a martyr" thoughts. I've read Unappreciated by Damian Kyle many times because of those thoughts! If you've never read it, do! And then remember exactly who you're serving because when we remember that it's the Lord we serve (not ourselves) we can let go of worrying if anyone has seen all the work we're doing. We don't have to be concerned that we haven't recieved our fair share of attention or applause because we know He sees.

On the WOW Hymns cd Chris Tomlin has a version the hymn Take My Life and Let It Be that I absolutely love. I don't know how to link the song to my blog (And though I'm sure I could figure it out I have to go grocery shopping here in a minute!) So here are the words with Tomlin's refrain. When I sing this song (at the top of my lungs) I sing it as a prayer because if we lived our lives this way, the only martyrdom that would happen is the real kind, where we lay our lives down in service to Him.

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as you choose.

Refrain:
Here am I, all of me
Take my life, it's all for Thee

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

Oh Lord, please make my heart right before you and help me to remember exactly who I serve. That it isn't me and it isn't for the praise of men but only to hear "Well done my good and faithful servant" the day I look into your beautiful eyes. Take my life, it's all for Thee.
Amen

Willow Tree Wedding Cake

2007-10-14T11:41:00.000-07:00

Well, it's finally done! Elaina and Peter are now Mr. and Mrs. Scougle! I'm so happy for those two and what a beautiful wedding! I do hope though that someone caught the ringbearer's antics on film. What a little ham! If you missed it, he was up there squinting at the audience and scolding the flower girl for something. (I never did figure that one out.) The funniest part though was when he took his two fingers and did the "I'm watching you!" thing (you know, when you point the two fingers at your eyes then at the person you're watching.) Hmph, glad it wasn't my kid!

Oh wait, it was! That boy! lol On one hand I wanted to throttle him (I am the mom afterall!) On the other hand I was trying hard not to giggle! (Again, I am his mom!)

He was so cute (I'm a little biased but whatever! :) )

Okay, now for the cake. Peter and Elaina are diehard chocoholics if their cake is any indicator. They wanted a chocolate cake with bittersweet ganache filling. We had a few changes to the outside since they initially wanted ganache flooding the tops of the cakes. They changed their minds though and went with a bittersweet Italian Meringue buttercream for the top and a milk chocolate frosting for the sides. To get this effect I frosted the cake upside down.

No really, I did! I made a template for the size cake I was frosting then taped it to a sturdy surface. Then I taped a piece of parchment paper over that so I could see the template (a big cirlcle.) I filled in the circle with bittersweet frosting and built the cake on top of that, upside down. When I was done with all the cake layers I frosted it with milk chocolate and chilled it for awhile before flipping it over. Then I peeled off the parchment paper and Voila! A two tone cake that actually looked decent.

When we were planning it I realized that the only cake stand I had wasn't going to look good with all that chocolate since it was silver. So I asked my darling husband if he would build me something that would complement what I had in mind. Being the nice guy he is, he said yes and made this beautiful creation:

It was so chilly outside that the cake was pretty firm. It was a little difficult to cut because of that and the slices didn't all look very pretty but they tasted okay I think. Elaina liked it anyway and that's really all that mattered, right? She told me that when she tasted it she thought she'd died and gone to heaven. And I know she loved how it looked. Mission accomplished! Phew!

Okay, I posted two pictures because I wanted you to be able to see the tops of the cake but I also wanted you to be able to see how pretty Jon's cake stand looked. Oh, and those are truffles around the base of each tier.

Oops! I forgot this one...

2007-10-10T21:26:00.000-07:00

I completely forgot to post Elaina's shower cake when I made it. I think it was my favorite combination of flavors yet! In fact, I liked it so much I don't think I will make it again for a looooong time! ;)

It was a yellow cake with rum flavored moistening syrup. The filling was white chocolate with toffee pieces folded in; and the frosting was milk chocolate Italian meringue buttercream.

I will be working on the wedding cake over the next couple of days (so don't call me! lol) I'll post pictures of that one Sunday or Monday (depending on how quickly I recover!)

Some helpful tips...

2007-09-20T08:04:00.000-07:00

It seems that just about everyone I know is on a diet lately so I thought I would post these helpful weightloss tips. (I feel it is my duty to share my knowledge in this area since I am so obviously successful at dieting. :P )

I have personally tested all of these...

1.If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2.If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

3.When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

4.Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

5.If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6.Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

7.Cookie pieces contain no fat-- the process of breaking causes fat leakage.

8.Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.

9.Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

10.Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and Popsicles.

11. Foods eaten while watching a major event on television do not count. Major events include: Superbowl, Hockey Finals, Indy 500, Jerry Springer show.

12. Powerbars and other type energy bars make you thinner. In all my years of exercising (at least three times a year) I have only seen thin people eating energy bars. Ergo (therefore) they must make you thin.

13. Snickers is the same as an energy bar (see #12)

14. Tasting other people's food does not add to your calorie count.

15. Containers of food that list the number of servings as greater than one are lying. Every container includes one serving. Half gallon of ice cream, box of cereal, bottle of soda, bag of chips are all one serving.

I hope these tips help you all in your quest for weight loss. Now I must go finish the cake for the wedding shower I'm going to this evening (see number 5 above).

What's for dessert?

2007-09-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

Well, those of you who know Cora know how much she likes spaghetti. So much in fact that every time we go to her house for dinner, guess what we have? Yep, spaghetti!

Now, this is okay as she makes it very tasty but the last time we went over she promised; no spaghetti. What's a girl to do? It's tradition to have spaghetti at her house!

So, here's what we had for dessert:

Spaghetti and Meatball cupcakes! Don't worry, the "meatballs" were ganache rolled in graham cracker crumbs, the "sauce" was red food gel and the "noodles" were frosting. The kids had a good time helping me make them too.

Scripture Exchange!

2007-08-25T18:08:00.000-07:00

I was reading my devotional this morning and it was talking about celebrating God's word in your life; how it's impacted you and that type of thing.

So I thought why not host a scripture exchange?

Now if you were at my house I would have a plate of cookies and some tea. We'd all write out a verse on a card and put it in a hat then take turns pulling one out and talking about how that particular verse had impacted us.

But we're not at my house so here's what I'm going to do.

First, go get a cookie if you have one! :)

Second, I'm going to type out a scripture that God is currently working on in my life and share a little about that. If you want to play along you can comment on the verse I've posted (what He's done with it in your life). Then you can post a verse of your own and the rest of us will do the same. If you've already posted a verse you don't have to post another when commenting on someone else, but you can if you want to.

I hope this doesn't seem silly. I just thought it would be a good way to see how God's word has impacted our own life and maybe even gain insight from another. (And hey, it's a good excuse to eat a cookie!) I'd do this as a blog tag but I'm not quite sure how that works.

Here's my current verse:

"A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger."
Proverbs 15:1 NIV

Lately I've noticed I've been a wee bit snappy. (Okay, convicted is the word! I don't like the sound of my own voice!) I was praying about it and this verse popped into my head. I'm sure it was the Lord instructing me on how to respond when I feel like being snappy. So that's what I've been working on, and trying to impress on my kids (because they model my behavior whether I like it or not!)

It's amazing how well this works. :)

With my kids and my husband both I've had opportunity to choose to say something gentle this week. I admit, it was something I had to choose at first because my inclination was to snap back. But after seeing the immediate impact gentle words made they come much easier!

You can literally watch the tension drain from a person when you respond with gentleness and kindness. When we're snapped at and respond in kind we end up creating an argument where we could have avoided one.

Practially, here's how this is playing out in my marriage: When he comes home from a long day and seems a little grumpy I'm making the decision not to take it personally. The amazing thing is, my doing this seems to wash away the grime of the day and he suddenly seems refreshed. His mood improves and he's actually happy to see me!

Proverbs 31:10-11 says, "Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain."

That part about the "heart of her husband safely trusts her" is, to me, the most important part of the whole Proverbs 31 woman section. I can buy stuff, sell stuff, have a clean house and well dressed kids but if the heart of my husband doesn't safely trust me then I don't think I've succeeded in being a good wife.

Answering gently (especially when he doesn't deserve it) is part of that.

**

Okay, your turn.

Audrey Hepburn Wedding Cake

2007-08-13T09:23:00.000-07:00

This one was made for a friend of my sister in law. Her son was getting married and they liked the other cake I did well enough that they wanted me to do the one for their son's wedding. The wedding was patterned around Audrey Hepburn (the bride loves her). The bridesmaids wore green dresses with black tulle peeking out of the bottom. The men wore suits and fedora's and the bride was beautiful in her white dress. I didn't get to see the wedding itself but what I did see was very cool and I loved it.

The cake was fun to make even if it was a lot of work. We were going to put green hydrangeas on it but they are poisonous so I piped 250 apple blossom flowers and then glued them (with more icing) to wires. Then I used floral tape to put them in little bunches (I was trying to make them hydrangea like). I didn't end up using all of them so if you need a green flower (or many!) I have some to spare!

If I were to do this one over again I would make the design a little closer together and near the bottom (not so spread out) but I was mostly happy with the look of it. The mother of the groom was very pleased so I'm happy. :)

Finally a Princess...

2007-07-30T10:11:00.000-07:00

She's been waiting, and waiting, and waiting....

She's been so excited that she would go into her room and take her clothes off. Then she would come out to the living room in her panties and I would ask, "Where are your clothes?!"

"Annie Kimmie nake it! Pwincess dwess!"

Aunti Kimmie did make the princess dress and Gracie finally got to wear it Saturday.

She was so cute the photographer couldn't keep her camera off her!

Arielle looked beautiful in her princess dress too. And Josh looked very handsome in his vest. Jessica of course hid from the camera at all costs so I don't have a picture of her to post but she was very pretty too. (And a great help to me with that cake!)

The wedding was Saturday, it is now Tuesday and every morning Grace gets up and puts her dress back on! As I type, she's laying behind me on my bed, a poofy pile of pink princess!

Here are my lovely children...

I love this one...

It's only cake...

2007-07-29T12:04:00.000-07:00

I've been planning and working on this wedding cake for a couple of months and this past week I was pretty much immersed in it. I'd be working on some aspect of it, start thinking ahead to what I still needed to do yet and quickly get overwhelmed. I finally told Jon, "When I start to freak out over this cake would you please remind me that it is only a cake?"

That's how I made it through.

It's only cake...

Friday night was the rehearsal for Saturday's wedding. By the time we got home and into bed it was around midnight but I already had the cakes all frosted, decorated and waiting in the refrigerator to be loaded up and assembled.

Saturday morning we were up at 6 AM getting ready, loading the car and driving off to North Bend. When we got there I found out that the pearls the bride had wanted on her cake had all been used up on the flower arrangements. I also discovered that apparently nobody had ordered flowers for the cake!

It's only cake...

Soooooo, I had to fake it! I was worried and nervous about it but I figured if I didn't do it the cake would look a bit naked and the bride wouldn't have what she'd envisioned. So fake it I did!

After it was all done I kept going over and looking at it because I couldn't believe I'd made it! lol

I can't tell you how much I prayed about this thing. It may seem silly because it was only a cake but it was important to the bride and groom and it was important to me that it be as pretty as I could make it. I was reminded through this whole experience that the Lord is into the details of my life; and my cake. I seriously prayed over every detail of this thing; from the scroll work, to the taste, to the flowers that I didn't know how to do.

And He answered.

The bride told me it was perfect; exactly what she'd envisioned.

There is no better compliment than that. :)

In the grand scheme of things it really was only cake but I asked the Lord to help me anyway and He did. Nothing is too silly or small for Him to care about. How comforting that I can ask Him to partner with me on something like that and know He will. Whatever He asks me to put my hand to I can be reassured that He will come along side me and give me what I need to accomplish it well.

Drumroll please...

Practice cake...

2007-07-27T12:47:00.000-07:00

This one is a practice cake so I could try out the scroll work on the side...

Another Cake...

2007-07-23T14:36:00.000-07:00

Friday night Jon and I went and listened to a friend from church as he played an outdoor venue in Marysville with his brother. The guy can sing! He's not too shabby on the guitar either! Then his daughter got up and sang a couple of songs with him and Wow! She can really sing too! Makes me sound like a gerbil in a blender by comparison! :P

I have another friend who can paint these beautiful pictures that make you want to live in the canvas. My mom can quilt like you wouldn't believe and my husband does amazing things with wood. They are all very artistic with what they do.

It may not seem like an artistic talent but baking is what I love to do and I love to decorate cake even more. I love the entire process; from mixing up the ingredients to frosting and decorating to watching someone I love take a bite and roll their eyes in ecstasy at how it tastes. Every opportunity to bring a cake, I do. Not because I want to show off (I'm not good enough for that! ) but because I want to decorate as much as possible and not gain 500 pounds!

With that in mind here is the Hawaiian shirt cake I made for my friends Chris and Cora. (Chris was ordained and Hawaiian shirts are kind of the unofficial uniform of Calvary Chapel pastors so I thought it would be fun to make him one). I also did cupcakes with the Calvary dove on them. I had a lot of fun making all of these so thanks Chris and Cora for letting me. :)

And the cupcakes...

Arielle's Birthday Cake...

2007-07-11T10:15:00.001-07:00

Well, Arielle is 11 now! Now we've got a teen and a tween!

I was telling Jon that it's a good thing I have some time to practice before she gets married because the birthday cake she planned was so elaborate I'm a little frightened about what her wedding cake might be!

She wanted three tiers (the original would have fed 150 people so we scaled that down a bit!) She wanted it to be vanilla butter cake with pink basket weave on each tier and rope trim around the edges. For the filling she wanted torted layers with vanilla moistening syrup, buttercream and sliced strawberries for the top and bottom filling layer. For the middle filling layer it was more buttercream (thin layers) and vanilla meringue disks! (Can this girl plan a cake or what!?)

When I put it together it got a little wonky because the meringue and berries weren't uniform in size and thickness so my basketweave was a little off too. I made up some Royal Icing drop flowers and buttercream roses and glued them on to try to make it look better. I wasn't thrilled with the final product but she sure was! That's all that matters I guess.

And Gracie loved it!! When I opened the fridge to show her she covered her mouth with her hands and gasped, "Oh Mommy!" Did I mention it was pink? lol

Here it is (and no matter what it looked like it tasted pretty dang good!)

Happy Independance Day!!!

2007-07-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

Kid Cakes...

2007-06-27T14:06:00.000-07:00

You know I've been doing some cake decorating and I think you probably know I have a wedding cake I'm doing at the end of July. Well, I didn't want to just make any old cake (because that's the way I am!) so I've been experimenting with different white cakes, frostings, fillings, etc.

Tonight we will be sampling the three finalists but to do that I had to bake three 6" cakes and prepare them exactly as they would be done for the wedding. The are all a white cake with vanilla simple syrup, bittersweet chocolate ganache (that I could overdose on!) and white buttercream frosting.

Since I had to do three cakes anyway I decided to let the kids each decorate one before we sample them. (Gracie decorated a cupcake and herself. ) Here are the results...

Arielle's is on the left, Jessica's in the middle and Josh on the right.

And the tops...

I think they show a lot of promise! (But then again, I am their mom so what else would I think? lol)

There's only grace...

2007-06-21T18:03:00.001-07:00

Today something happened that made me feel like my shameful past had come back to bite me.

How's that for a good way to start a post! ;)

When I was younger I was not a "good girl" to put it mildly. Even though I wasn't aware of it I carried guilt and shame from that type of lifestyle for a very long time. When I came to know the Lord He began to show me how it had affected me and I wept over what I had been.

Had been; those are the operative words aren't they?

Sometimes I forget. Not that I go back to that lifestyle, more like I forget that I'm a new creation and begin to feel the shame of it all over again. Most of the time these days though I don't really think about it unless something brings it up. Like what happened today. I'm not going to tell you what it was but know that I began to be pulled back into those feelings.

Feelings like I'm a sham and just pretending to be some sort of godly woman. Feelings like "if they ever found out what I really am they would be shocked and appalled!" Feelings like my poor husband got the short end of the stick when he married me.

I've made no secret of my past, I feel like those who may still be in it or just out of it might need to hear that someone else has been there. So why these feelings? I guess I just start to buy the lie again.

But then the One who rescued me in the first place reached down His hand again and pulled me out of it. I turned on the radio in my car and this is what I heard:

There is no guilt here
There is no shame
No pointing fingers
There is no blame

What happened yesterday…
has disappeared
The dirt has washed away
And now it's clear

There's only grace
There's only love
There's only mercy and believe me it's enough
Your sins are gone
Without a trace
And there's nothing left now
There's only grace

You're starting over now
Under the sun
You're stepping forward now
A new life has begun
Your new life has begun

An’ there's only grace
There's only love
There's only mercy and believe me…it's enough
Your sins are gone
Without a trace
And there's nothing left now
There's only grace…

And if you should fall again
Get back up, get back up
Reach out and take my hand
Get back up, get back up
Get back up again

Mathew West may have been the one singing but the Lord was speaking directly to my heart.

You knew exactly what you were getting but you chose me anyway.
Thank you.

Baby Shower Cake...

2007-06-20T11:42:00.000-07:00

I had so much fun making this thing! It's chocolate cake, whipped ganache filling, creme de cocoa moistening syrup and white chocolate buttercream frosting. I only put the syrup and ganache in the middle for one layer of filling. Next time I will torte the layers and put ganache between those too, making three layers of filling per tier. (You probably don't really care though! lol) Here's my cake...

BTW, the creme de cocoa syrup was non-alcoholic. I didn't want to use alcohol in my cakes but all the recipes for flavored essential syrups call for it. In a moment of inspiration I decided to use those coffee syrups instead. I bought some Davinci's flavored syrup and it worked perfectly! :)

Seven Things...

2007-06-04T09:05:00.000-07:00

Apparently blogging two or three times a year just isn’t enough for some people because Shannon tagged me with this “meme” thing to force me! (What the heck does “meme” mean?) I guess I’ve put it off long enough but I don’t know what seven things I’ll be able to come up with. You’ve been warned…

1. I was the reason my parents got married. Apparently I was on the way long before they considered getting married and I was conceived in the back seat of someone’s car. This is not something I ever needed to know about myself (or my parents!) I still need therapy over this one! :)

2. I really wasn’t sure I wanted to get married and if I did it wouldn’t be until I was at least 25 but preferably later. And I certainly didn’t want children! I figured I’d just mess them up. I was going to have a career and a nice black and white apartment in the city somewhere high up.

Reality: I got married at twenty (I guess I just couldn’t resist that trick he does where he pretends to take his finger off! Sigh, he’s so dreamy!) I have four kids and I homeschool them. I live in a rural town (example: my neighbor and I buried her dog in her front yard last week. You just don’t do that type of thing in the city! Yes, he was dead.) I’m some sort of hillbilly Martha Stewart or something and I still don’t know how it happened! (My oldest says I’ve been “countrified!” )

3. When I was a kid I could turn my eyelids inside out. It was gross but the boys thought I was really cool. I won’t do it now because it hurts.

4. My mom was a truck driver and I used to travel with her around the Midwest (she was long haul). I went to more bars when I was a child than I have been to as an adult. Traveling from city to city and sleeping in that little sleeper compartment was really pretty fun. I felt so adventurous (and yes, cool!) skipping school for a few weeks at a time to travel the country. Truck stops still have a special place in my heart because it’s there that I first learned of the miracle that is the Shirley Temple drink! I’m getting’ a hankerin’ for greezy food and soda! (Maybe that’s why my dreams of city life were doomed! It was those truck stops!)

5. This one is for Shannon. I once had a big cut on the back of my heel. I took a needle and thread and sewed it shut. Myself, Rambo style. With no medication! I didn’t get an infection and I don’t have a scar there. I didn’t even know how to sew! I don’t recommend it.

Two more?! I’m not that interesting!

6. I was a brazen shoplifter as a kid. You know those electronic things at the front of the store? They probably invented those because of me. I once went into a store, got a paper grocery bag and filled it with stuff (unpaid for) then just walked out. I had posters sticking up out of the top of the bag and no one stopped me. I also once stuffed umbrellas up the sleeves of my ski jacket and walked out of the store. That is the extent of my life of crime. I’m not on the FBI’s most wanted list or anything so you will get no reward for turning me in.

7. I wanted to be a Solid Gold Dancer. Do you remember that show? I loved those sparkly, flashy costumes! I would practice with my sister and our cousin in front of the TV trying to do those moves. I also loved watching American Bandstand! We’d dance to that show too.

Phew! I made it to seven! Anything I’ve said should not be used against me! (Or I will make all of you join me in a Solid Gold style dance expo at the chili cookoff!)

Lead me...

2007-04-11T22:21:00.000-07:00

We skated in at the last minute for church tonight. I hate doing that but sometimes it’s unavoidable with Jon’s schedule. We did make it right before worship started but when that happens I’m all distracted and it takes me awhile to settle down and get my brain focused. Then, just as I started singing I got something in my eye! Grrr! I made several trips back and forth to the bathroom attempting to get whatever it was out. Finally, I found the culprit; one of those tiny, thin little fuzzies that for some reason are attracted to my eyes. I got it out and put some eye drops in then tried to rejoin the worship.

My Josh sat right behind me tonight. This little boy has said for a very long time that he wants to be a worship leader so he can praise the Lord. We’re trying to do what we can to help him by providing piano lessons and encouraging his practice. We’re also trying to teach him that to really worship the Lord it has to be with your whole life, not just a thing you do on Sunday or Wednesday. We’ve told him that he should be the lead worshipper, not just a worship leader.

As he sat behind me tonight I listened to him sing, “Jesus draw me close, closer Lord to you. Let the world around me fade away….for I desire to worship and obey.” And then a few minutes later I heard him sing “I will praise you, O my Redeemer!”

He sang with gusto! He sang with vibrato and emotion in his voice! I snuck a peak back at him and saw his eyes were closed and he was smiling as he sang. He worshipped the Lord and my heart smiled. Being late, getting kids into class, pulling fuzzies from my eye; they all disappeared like a mist when the sun comes out. His singing was so sweet that I couldn’t help but praise the Lord.

He may only be seven but tonight he led me into the presence of the Lord.

Tonight, he is a worship leader.

"Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" Matthew 19:14

The Most Incredible Cake Ever!!!!

2007-03-12T16:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have here the most beautiful cake that has ever graced my kitchen!

You may not agree when you look at it but I have my reasons.

I frosted the cake itself and planned to put some flowers or something on there to dress it up but before I could, help arrived in the form of one seven year old boy. He was peppering me with questions about the different tips I have. He rearranged them all quite a few times and even made a couple of towers out of them.

I have to admit I was getting a teeny, tiny bit irritated! :) But it finally dawned on me that this little boy just wanted to be involved with what I was doing. I had an idea that I'm sure was inspiration from the Holy Spirit.

I handed over the frosting bag.

You would have thought I just gave the boy the keys to Disney Land!

"Really!?" He squealed

"Yup." I said. "Do you want me to show you how to make a star?"

I gave him some instruction and let him loose. He found some pretty creative ways to use that star tip! After awhile I changed the tip to the one that makes "grass" and we had some more fun. He made grass, piles of spaghetti and "string decorations" as he called it. Then he tried the leaf tip; butterflies, leaves and looooong squiggly lines abound!

The frosting on top is probably almost two inches thick and I may need medical attention after all that sugar but have you ever seen anything more beautiful?

I know I could go a hundred different directions with this post. There are bunches of things I could say, parallels I could draw between this instance and our relationship with the Lord. But I'm not feeling very profound at the moment. All I will say is; don't let yourself get too busy for the important people in your life. Jesus was never to busy for the people who needed Him, even when they interrupted His plans.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths."

I'm afraid I've been thinking....

2007-02-28T16:58:00.000-08:00

It’s snowing again! I have to admit I’m ready for spring but what can you do? It’s hard to be grumpy about the snow when it’s so beautiful and the kids are doing such fabulous happy dances! When the girls were smaller I hated letting them do anything that would cause them to get dirty or worse, get my house dirty (like playing in the snow!) Not too long ago though I made a conscious decision to relax about stuff. Maybe it was when I realized that I was quite a messy person myself? (Shh, don’t tell anyone I said that! Lol)

No, I think it was actually when I realized that my little ones weren’t quite so little anymore. My time with Jessica and Arielle is dwindling and I know from experience that the time with the other two will fly just as fast. So, I’ve determined to enjoy them, messes and all! It used to be that I wouldn’t allow them in the kitchen without hovering over them (which meant nagging them about everything). Now I send them in there to make their breakfast or lunch, the girls cook dinner sometimes and Jessica has become our designated cookie baker. And trust me, that girl is as messy as her mother when she’s creating something!! Arielle is learning to cook and bake too but she’s not quite ready to go solo yet. Sometimes I’ll go in there and supervise but more often I let her go at it and just make sure I’m available if she has questions (I’m usually sitting at the kitchen table pretending not to notice the flour on the floor or the butter she splatted on the wall when she cranked the mixer to mach two!)

Even Josh can make his own scrambled eggs on the stove now (he is a manly seven year old you know!) Gracie seems so small to me but I brought her into the kitchen and baked cookies with her last week too. She made a mess but she was so proud and happy that she baked cookies with mommy.

I want my kids to be able to figure things out and troubleshoot when something gets tricky. If I give them the basic understanding of how baking and cooking works then they can create beyond the basic recipes (and they will because their mother can’t stick with a recipe to save her life!) If I give them the freedom to make mistakes without making them feel stupid but then lovingly help them figure out what they should have done won’t they be better off in the end?

As a mom I don’t want my kids to remain dependant on me (okay, well maybe just a little, teeny bit!) I want them to grow into adults who can manage life without me. If I don’t let them handle things themselves and learn from it they won’t ever feel confident enough to go it alone.

Taking this out of the kitchen, I want them to learn to seek the Lord for themselves too. Am I training them to search the scriptures for themselves when they have an issue? Do I direct them (and show them by my example) that prayer should be as common to them as breathing? Do I live out Proverbs 3:5-6 the way I want them to? Do I model repentance when Psycho Mommy makes an appearance? (I really don’t like her!)

As a mom I have made just as many (probably more) mistakes as my kids make. I’ve made a whole lot of messes over the course of my life too! But God is loving and patient with me. He waits for me to realize I’m in a mess and gently cleans me up. He never mocks. He never belittles or shames. He gently points out where I went wrong and shows me how it should have been done.

I want to be as gentle and loving as He is; with my husband, my kids and all those He's entrusted to my care don't you? If we look around and see someone making a mess of things are we gentle and loving with them? Or are we to busy noticing the mess they've made? Every mistake is an opportunity for learning and growth; mine, theirs or both. My prayer is that my life, all of it; public and private, would reflect His gentleness and love, especially in my family.

Valentines Day Cake...late

2007-02-20T18:55:00.000-08:00

Well, Jon was fasting so I waited a couple of days to make my cake. When I did do it I got the frosting waaaaayyy more pink than I wanted. (I was going to do a pale pink but I only had red tint and got too much.) Being the newbie that I am I will learn a new lesson everytime I decorate a cake.

Lesson one, don't use red to get pink!

Lesson two; frost the whole cake before coloring any icing (otherwise you may barely have enough to frost the cake!)

Lesson three was kind of throw in a few days later but I will mentally file it away for when it matters.

Lesson three; when your husband builds a rip snorting fire in the woodstove and the house gets up to 80 degrees the frosting will melt and slide right off the cake! (I will keep this in mind for the summer months.)

Lesson four; melted frosting still tastes good. ;)

Okay, here is a picture of my cake. I got a little carried away with the roses but they were working this time! All I can say is, it was a very bright cake! Whatever, it tasted good (white cake with apricot filling and buttercream frosting).

More Cake...

2007-02-03T20:05:00.000-08:00

Well, I missed the last class so I didn't get instruction on how to make a rose. I had the cake in the freezer all week and finally had a chance to decorate it today. So, I tried the roses myself. They aren't that great (I think my frosting was a little too stiff) but they look like flowers and you only get better with practice. My kids picked the color for the flowers so don't be surpised if they aren't a traditional color. ;) Okay, here it is. Be nice...

Week 2: Figure Piping

2007-01-23T09:03:00.000-08:00

Okay, I wasn't very motivated to do figure piping. The class project was clowns but they have some other options if you don't like clowns.

I don't.

I made a bear instead; quite a goofy looking bear too I might add! I'm sure that at some point I will want to know how to do the figures and there are quite a few cute little animals you can make.

But for the moment, I'm not in to them. Keep that in mind when you look at my cake... :)

A New Hobby...

2007-01-16T12:04:00.000-08:00

I have wanted to take a cake decorating class for a very, very long time. Unfortunately, getting my money and my time together at the same time is very tricky! (I don't think they like each other.)

Until now.

For Christmas this year my very sweet husband bought me a Wilton starter kit and signed me up for cake decorating classes! Last night I decorated my first official cake. (Okay, so I've done cakes in the past but they were usually things like a cowboy boot. I have a picture of that one too. Maybe I'll tack it on to the end of this post).

It should be obvious to you that I have the attention span of a two year old. I stayed on track with the teacher and brought home my cute little cake. However, this morning I couldn't stand it and just had to try the basket weave that is for course two (I'm in course one). It's not the best looking cake ever but it's a start and I'm pleased with my first attempt. If I practice, it can only get better from here, right? (Please tell me I'm right!)

The bonus of all this is that my kids (who hate handwriting practice!) are now seeing me have to practice. I love it when I can show them that if you want to get better you have to work at it! It doesn't hurt that I've told them if they practice their handwriting they'll probably be better at writing on cakes than I am. Gives them a goal to work toward! lol

Josh's new eyes...

2006-06-08T16:20:00.000-07:00

Josh got his glasses today! The poor kid couldn't see anything! He was so amazed at the world when we came out of that doctor's office! He saw birds and trees and he could see detail that he didn't know was there. He kept looking at my face like he was seeing it for the first time. I was thrilled that he could see things now but I was also sad that he's missed so much. At least he has the glasses now though right? His eyes are 200/20 with a wicked astigmatism. The doctor was amazed that he'd even been able to read with as bad as his eyes are. I am excited to see how well he does now! He is at this moment playing XBOX and enjoying being able to see the stuff on the screen! So, here is my cute son...

Hide me

2006-04-11T09:28:00.000-07:00

I was studying Isaiah chapter 30 this week for our women's group when I was captivated by these two verses:

For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel:
"In returning and rest you shall be saved;
In quietness and confidence shall be your strength."
But you would not,
And you said, "No, for we will flee on horses"--
Therefore you shall flee!
And, "We will ride on swift horses"--
Therefore those who pursue you shall be swift! Isaiah 30:15-16

Now, I'm not a hunter personally but my husband is and on occasion he will hunt birds. Pheasant can often be found in large fields where they will hide among the tall grass to find protection from their enemies. When they stay hidden, they are safe.

I imagine that this is a very hard thing to remember when the feet of the enemy begin to draw near.

I don't know if you're familiar with pheasant hunting techniques but the typical method is for several men to walk abreast through the field. As they walk the birds are scared into flying, making themselves an easy target for the hunters. They forget all about the safety of the grass and in their panic they put themselves right in harms way.

How many times do we do the same thing? Instead of trusting in our hiding place, the Lord, we try to flee instead. The verses in Isaiah remind me that resting in His strength is where I will find my deliverance. My comfort comes not from fleeing from my enemies but in surrendering to the Lord.

It is when we panic and take flight that we put ourselves out in the path of danger and make ourselves an easy target. I can relate to those Israelites who wanted to flee and make alliances with other countries; we don't seem to feel safe unless we're doing something. The people that Isaiah was addressing didn't just panic, they deliberately ignored the word of the Lord to them and laid other plans. They sought to protect themselves and refused to trust in the Almighty, but to truly be safe we need to take refuge and let Him be our defense.

Psalm 91:1-6 says,

"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust."

Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday."

Abide in Him, then when the feet of the enemy draw near you won't be tempted to flee because you've made Him your dwelling place. The person who trusts in God is the one who lives close to Him.

one, two, three, dip...

2006-04-10T13:33:00.000-07:00

As I often do when I hear his truck tires crunching along the gravel road, I went out to the front yard to greet him. I waited patiently as he got out and put his things onto the hood before turning to give me a hug. As usual, he opened his arms to embrace me and I gladly came to him.

But then he did something completely unexpected; he dipped me!

Yes, that's right, he dipped me. Swooped me right off my feet, twisted around and bent low to the ground, looked into my startled eyes and after all that grand swooping simply said, "Hi."

"Hi!" I breathlessly replied. I felt completely helpless dangling there supported only by his strong arms. A quick kiss and I was back on my feet as fast as I'd left them. He gathered his things and flashed a michevious grin at my stunned face.

I'm sure that first dip didn't look as romantic as it might sound because I remember flinging my leg out and wildly clutching at his shoulders. It probably looked more like a drowning woman grasping at a life preserver than a graceful dip! I hate to admit it but I just didn't trust him not to drop me!

He has dipped me many times since that first one and though I am usually still caught off guard by the suddenness of it, I no longer flail about. I have learned to trust that his strength will hold me fast. I have learned not to struggle but to just lie peacefully in his arms, knowing that I will be upright again in a moment. I have learned to enjoy the ride. When he dips me, all I can see is his face looking lovingly into mine and the world falls away for those few beautiful moments.

As I reflect on the gift that I have in my husband I can see that there are bigger, stronger arms than his holding me. Whenever life has knocked me off my feet the arms of the Lord have been there to catch me and set me upright again. When an old hurt rises like a Pheonix from the ashes of my memory His arms encircle and protect me. He whispers reassuring words to my heart that soothe and calm.

There is something wonderful about learning to just lie peacefully and know that I am in the care of one stronger than myself.

"If I say, "My foot slips,"
Your mercy, O Lord wil hold me up.
In the multitude of my anxieties within me,
Your comforts delight my soul."
Psalm 94:18-19

Kid Speak

2006-04-07T09:11:00.000-07:00

I love the way kids get things garbled or mixed up when they're speaking. Gracie is almost two and she's says a lot of very interesting stuff! I'm not sure what most of it is but I hang on every word. Here are some of her words and their translation:

Mee, mee = Excuse me!

Tate tu = Thank you

Eeez = Please

Da bouche = garbage (I think this is one of my favorites!)

For banana she sticks her tongue out and moves it back and forth across her lips while making noise. (I love that one too but there is no way I could draw you a picture of it. You'd just have to see her do it. )

As they get a little older the things they say are much more sophisticated. Josh used to call vanilla yogurt "ballilla logurt" but not anymore.

*Sniff*

He just turned six in February and now he is quite the linguistic artist. He pronounces most things correctly these days but he still uses some amusing terms.

Just last night he was holding Snowy (his completely gray kitten) when he exclaimed; "Mom! I didn't know Snowy got so bumpy when he purrs!"

I love that kid. :)

A few weeks ago we went to Alfy's Pizza with a group of friends for an after church lunch. Josh had eaten his required piece of cheese pizza doused liberally with Parmesan and was now eyeballing the candy dispenser. All those colorful little balls of candy were too much for him and he began his quest for a quarter. He turned the full power of those big blue eyes on the adults present and the loose change began to flow!

Sadly, the M&M dispenser was jammed. Despite the Herculean effort of Mr. Miller to jar those candies loose Josh never did get his chocolate fix. At one point he turned to me (the Mommy who can fix everything, don't you know!) and asked if I could "get the pizza cooker guys to come get me a candy?"

If I had thought those pizza cooker guys could get him one I would have pulled one out of that kitchen by his ear!

Funny isn't it? They know what they want and they don't worry about the proper way to ask. Jon and I were talking last night about praying and how we all do it differently. Some people will use King James English and some will use flowery, extravagant terms. Others just pray simply. I love the story of the guy who had just become a Christian and was invited to join a group in prayer. The other members were praying with big religious sounding words but he simply said, "Hi God, in case you don't remember me, it's Bob. I talked to you last week and now I'm back..."

I used to worry about praying in front of others. I had been in a church where the Women's Ministry leader would go along after everyone who had prayed and correct everything they had said. You can imagine the impact that had!

It's taken some time but as I've gotten to know the Lord a little better I've realized that He's like any parent would be. He just loves it when we come and speak to Him. I don't have to use big fancy sounding words or try to impress Him.

I think it pleases Him more when I come to Him like Josh did to me; expecting that He will hear me and take action on my behalf.

I am so comforted by that because most of the time I sound more like Gracie than someone scholarly anyway. He is so amazing, so awe-inspiring that all I can manage is, "Tate-tu!"

And thankfully, that is enough.

"Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, "Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Mathew 18:2-4 NKJV

My New Podium...

2006-03-23T20:24:00.000-08:00

My darling husband finished this new podium for church. I get to teach the Women's Bible Study a couple of times a month and had been hinting to him "that it would sure be nice if I didn't have to use a wobbly music stand!" He finished it two weeks ago in time for me to use it. He was so sweet! He wasn't sure he'd be able to finish it it before my night came up. I told him it was okay, I'd use it the next time. But he wanted me to be the first to use it so he hurried and got it done. When I went in that night this beautiful creation was there waiting for me.

Daddy's Home!

2006-03-13T10:14:00.000-08:00

My little Gracie is almost two years old now and she is very adept at making herself heard. This little girl is into everything she can reach and even some things she can't! From the moment she wakes up to the moment she goes to sleep she is busy, busy, busy! She hops, she skips, she even gallops along like a little pony.

Her favorite things to say are, "No!", "Mine!", and "Bye, bye!"

She wants to be just like the big kids and she loves everything to do with music. You can't keep her attention for long if there is anything with a rhythm playing. She can't help herself, she has to dance. Her little head will start bobbing back and forth, then her feet lift in time to the music. Soon, her rear end is swaying back and forth. The rest of us can't help it, we giggle endlessly (which makes her dance all the more!)

There is only one thing that will stop this girlie in her tracks; the sound of Daddy's footsteps on the front porch.

As soon as she realizes that he's home whatever she had been doing is forgotten and chubby little arms are flung into the air. She flies to the front door screaming, "Daddy!!!!!!" (Only it sounds more like Da-yee!)

As soon as he manages to get the door open without smacking her with it Daddy is expected to drop everything and swoop that little chunk into his arms. A task he is only too willing to accomplish.

I love to watch them together; he holds her close and breathes in her scent (a mixture of baby shampoo, peanut butter and possibly the deodorant she tried to eat earlier). She lays her little head on his shoulder and strokes his hair with pudgy fingers. His strength is tempered by the tenderness he feels for her and she knows his arms are a safe place.

So focused on each other they forget that anyone else exists, they both close their eyes and relish this moment of bliss. They are the picture of contentment.

~

Though I am no longer a toddler there are days I think I am as active as one. There are meals to prepare, rooms to clean, laundry to wash and put away. A busy husband who needs my help and support. Four kids; three of which I homeschool while trying to keep the fourth occupied. Grace is screaming, the girls are fighting and Josh is mad that somebody broke his Lego creation. Jon needs help finding something he misplaced and there are many chores to be done before bedtime.

The world is calling and I am tired.

Sometimes, I am too busy to hear His footsteps on the front porch. I get so wrapped up running around doing things that I forget to drop everything, fling my arms up and run to Him.

Oh, but when I do...

...He gathers me close and wraps strong arms around me. I rest in the safety of His embrace and I find peace and contentment.

I could stay here forever.

"The voice of my beloved! Behold, he comes leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills. My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Behold, he stands behind our wall; He is looking through the windows, Gazing through the lattice. My beloved spoke, and said to me; "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grapes give a good smell. Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away!" Song of Solomon 2:8-13

Time Flies!

2006-03-06T16:55:00.000-08:00

Wow! Has it really been over three months since I posted anything? It doesn't seem like that long! I've been trying to decide what to do with this blog since I haven't been posting anything. I've been trying to decide whether I should just delete it or if I should keep it going. I think for now I will keep the blog but I'm going to allow myself to post different types of things. Household tips, patterns, something I'm knitting or sewing at the moment; whatever strikes my fancy. Then, if I have the time I will try to actually write something meaningful. Since I'm probably all alone on here now I don't see this as a problem for my audience! :)

For today here is a recipe I tried last night:

Chicken Curry
4 cups cooked basmati rice
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper
3 cups chopped cooked chicken breast
1 cup TOMATO sauce
1 tablespoon flour
1 tablespoon curry powder
1 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 tablespoon garlic powder

Brown onion and green pepper in olive oil until tender; add chicken breast. In a separate bowl combine tomato sauce, flour, curry powder, sea salt, garlic powder, water and lemon juice and stir until smooth. Pour mixture over chicken and stir until combined. Spread rice in a 9x13 baking dish then spread chicken mixture over the top. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes.

I liked it plain but my kids put some sour cream on top and ate it that way. It's got quite a lot of flavor but it's low in calories and fat. My kind of dish! Bon Apetit!

2005-12-06T10:47:00.002-08:00

This is an easy and fast to make poncho pattern. E-mail me if you want the directions. (I have directions for sizes from Toddler to Adult.)

2005-12-06T10:47:00.001-08:00

Gracie saying "Cheese!"

2005-12-06T10:47:00.000-08:00

Pink Version...

2005-11-30T09:33:00.000-08:00

It doesn't snow a whole lot around here so my daughter (Jessica) decided she'd better make a snowman while she could! I thought it was cute so I took a picture of it. (That's what mom's do you know!)

2005-11-30T09:27:00.000-08:00

My Sentiments Exactly!
(Well, as long as I don't have to drive in it!)

Morning...

2005-11-23T10:25:00.001-08:00

I don’t remember what I was dreaming. I only remember the blaring of the alarm clock and the sudden absence of my husband from our bed. He began to rush around and I briefly entertained thoughts of getting up with him.

From my station under the blankets I could feel the bite of the cold morning air on my face and I just couldn’t stand the thought of tossing those covers aside. I knew the moment I did frigid air would wash over me and set my teeth to chattering like a wind up toy.

No, better to stay snuggled under my pile of blankets; maybe even drift back to sleep…

I heard Him whisper...

“You said you wanted to spend time with Me.”

It’s funny how even when clouded with sleep my brain can quickly calculate a plan to keep me in bed longer!

“Honey, Will you reset the alarm for me?”

“I’ll get up at 6:30!” I thought, “That way I can steal another hour of warmth and I’ll still be able to grab a few minutes of quiet time before the kids get up!” I wiggled further into the blankets satisfied with my plan.

Jon reset the alarm for me before gathering the rest of his things. “I’m running a little late so I won’t be able to take the dogs out.”

I stifled a groan. That meant I’d have to do it! Oh well, if he’s late I’ll have to do it whether I get up now or not.

“Okay” I mumbled. We ran through the usual exchange; “Don’t forget your sandwich, have a good day, I love you…” and he quietly shut the door.

As I lay there I heard him go into the bathroom. I shut my eyes and tried to will myself back to sleep, but instead I started thinking.

I thought of the things he needed to do yet before he left. His usual stuff, but today it would be a hassle because he was already running late.

I thought about how he gets up and leaves our warm bed everyday to take care of me and our children.

I thought about how he never complains, even when he comes home from a long hard day at work and still has chores to do at home.

I thought about the overtime he’s been working so he can take the day after Thanksgiving off because I want to go get our Christmas tree.

I started to feel a little guilty but the pull of my bed was still too strong. ‘Oh Lord!’ I prayed, ‘please help me to put myself aside so I can get up and bless him!’

With a sudden resolve I took a breath to brace myself and flung the covers aside. Before I could change my mind I threw on some sweats and headed for the kitchen. As I set to work collecting his things and pouring his coffee he came into the kitchen and stood watching me. I glanced up at him and could read the question in his eyes before he even asked it.

“What are you doing up? I thought you were tired?”

“You said you were late.” I said with a shiver.

The smile he gave me warmed me to my toes. It was a smile that said, “You have blessed me.”

Strong arms enveloped me and held me to his chest. “I love you” he whispered into my hair.

When he had gone, I got my Bible and spent some time with another. I felt the warmth of His presence as I heard Him whisper again to my heart…

“…you have blessed Me.”

Thank you Lord for giving me the strength to get up and serve You and my husband this morning. I am the one who was blessed.

What Cartoon Character Are You?

2005-10-08T10:41:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago a bunch of bloggers were doing online quizzes to determine everything from what type of movie they were to what kind of candy they represent. Here is one that you'll have to do your own math on but it was fun and silly so I'm posting it.

Just so you know, I was Sponge Bob Square Pants! (Which has me wondering because that's Jon's least favorite cartoon character!)

Here you go...

Everyone has the personality of a cartoon character. Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon character you most resemble? A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities of well known and modern cartoon characters. The information that was gathered was made into this test. Answer all the questions with what describes you best, add up all your points (which are next to the answer that you choose) at the end and look for your results. Do not cheat by looking at the end of the e-mail before you are done.

_____________________________________

1. Which one of the following describes the perfect date?
a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.)
b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)
c) Painting in the park (5 pts.)
d) Rock concert (1 pt.)
e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)

2. What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock and Roll (2 pts.)
b) Alternative (1 pt.)
c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)
d) Country (5 pts.)
e) Pop (3 pts.)

3. What type of movies do you prefer?
a) Comedy (2 pts.)
b) Horror (1 pt.)
c) Musical (3 pts.)
d) Romance (4 pts.)
e) Documentary (5 pts.)

4. Which one of these occupations would you choose if you could only could choose one of these? (What kind of a choice is this anyway?)
a) Waiter (4 pts.)
b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)
c) Teacher (3 pts.)
d) Police (2 pts.)
e) Cashier (1 pt)

5. What do you do with your spare time?
a) Exercise (5 pts.)
b) Read (4 pts.)
c) Watch television (2 pts.)
d) Listen to music (1 pt.)
e) Sleep (3 pts.)

6. Which one of the following colors do you like best?
a) Yellow (1 pt.)
b) White (5 pts.)
c) Sky Blue (3 pts.)
d) Dark Blue (2 pts.)
e) Red (4 pts.)

7. What do you prefer to eat right now?
a) Snow (3 pts.) (Is snow really considered a food?)
b) Pizza (2 pts.)
c) Sushi (1 pt.)
d) Pasta (4 pts.)
e) Salad (5 pts.)

8. What is your favorite holiday?
a) Halloween (1 pt.)
b) Christmas (3 pts)
c) New Year (2 pts.)
d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.)
e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)

9. If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?
a) Paris (4 pts)
b) Spain (5 pts.)
c) Las Vegas (1 pt.)
d) Hawaii (4 pts.)
e) Hollywood (3 pts)

10. With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?
a) Someone Smart (5 pts.)
b) Someone attractive (2 pts.)
c) Someone who likes to Party (1 pt.)
d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.! )
e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)

Now add up your points and find out the answer you have been waiting for! DON'T PEEK YET! NOW, COMPARE YOUR POINTS TO THESE CHARACTERS:

(10-16 points) You are Garfield: You are very comfortable, easygoing, and you definitely know how to have fun but sometimes you take it to an extreme. You always know what you are doing and you are always in control of your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try to remember your happy spirit may hurt you or others.

(17-! 23 points) You are Snoopy: You are fun, you are very cool and popular. You always know what's in and you never are out of style.You are good at knowing how to satisfy everyone else. You have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but you always come home with the family values that you learned. Being married and having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun times.

(24-28 points) You are Elmo: You have lots of friends and you are also popular, always willing to give advice and help out a person in need.You are very optimistic and you always see the bright side of things. Some good advice: try not to be too much of a dreamer, if not you will have many conflicts with life.

(29-35 points) You are Sponge Bob Square Pants: You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never want to lose. You never cause harm to anyone and they would never not understand your feelings. Life is a journey, it's funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people, then you will be stress free.

(36-43 points) You are Charlie Brown: You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You call your mom every Sunday. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.

(44-50 points) You are Dexter: You are smart and definitely a thinker. Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind.You demonstrate very strong family principles. Maintain a stable routine but never ignore a bad situation when it comes.

So, who are you?

I Am Still Here!

2005-09-09T08:56:00.000-07:00

I just haven't posted for awhile!

Don't you hate it when you have something all typed out and you think you post it but it disappears! Grrrr!

Okay, we'll try this again! I have been so busy lately that I just haven't had time (or the inclintation!) to get on here and post anything. I know, not a good excuse and I will try to post more often. But not right now! :) Arielle (my 9 year old) fell and broke her leg this past Tuesday. I will tell you more about what happened but I want to (gasp!) actually write a post about that so you'll have to wait.

For now, what you need to know is that she won't be getting a cast until next Tuesday because of concerns about swelling and stuff. So, she is here at home but has to be immobilized or the surgery that she's narrowly avoided so far will catch up with her! It was a pretty serious break (she even had to stay overnight at the hospital) so she's still in a lot of pain. As you can imagine I am running ragged trying to take care of her every need (and I do mean every!) and the other three kiddos.

Until then I leave you with pictures of some of our recent events (I know it's sort of cheating but it's better than nothing right?) And please keep praying for my poor girl!

2005-09-09T08:30:00.000-07:00

Arielle standing (something she won't be doing for awhile!) by the river.

2005-09-09T08:27:00.000-07:00

Our worn out little camper. She fell asleep in the baby backpack while we were hiking back from the river. We just let her sleep there while we played cards. lol

2005-09-09T08:25:00.000-07:00

The campground we went to on this trip was waaaay out there but it was absolutely beautiful. I have a bunch of pics of the river but none of them do it justice.

2005-09-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

Joshua, Gracie and Jon relaxing on one of our camping trips. I wasn't sure we'd ever get Jon home after this one. :)

2005-09-09T08:20:00.000-07:00

Here is Jessica about to be baptized....

2005-09-09T08:19:00.000-07:00

This was Arielle when she got baptized. Here she's coming up out of the water. My husband Jon is on the left and our Pastor Dave is on the right.

2005-09-09T08:17:00.000-07:00

Gracie showing off her shapely swimsuit figure...

2005-09-09T08:15:00.000-07:00

The Three Amigos...Talon, Joshua and Nathan. (Okay, so I was playing in the paint program and they don't really have facial hair but aren't they cute?!)

I Am Still Here!

2005-09-09T08:10:00.000-07:00

I just haven't posted in awhile! (Obviously, huh!)

I want to post, I really do! I had been busy and just putting it off but now I have a good excuse! Arielle (my 9 year old) fell and broke her leg this last Tuesday. I will be telling you more about that but I want to (gasp!) actually write a post and I just don't have time right now. She can' get a cast until next Tuesday because there are concerns about swelling and such so I have to keep her still until then or the surgery she has narrowly escaped so far will catch up to her. Which means I am running a little ragged with caring for her every need (and I do mean every!) plus the other three kiddos.

So, until I can snatch a moment I have posted several pictures of some of our recent events. (I know it's sort of cheating but at least it's something right?) One request, please keep praying for Arielle. The break was serious enough that she was hospitalized overnight and like I said, almost needed surgery. Thanks my friends!

Zoning Out...

2005-08-10T14:54:00.000-07:00

What a full morning it had been! I was teaching the first through third grade kids at our church's VBS. Those kids have a lot of energy and by the time it was over mine was gone. I was tired and hungry but I still needed to go to the store and pick up a few things. While I was in Walmart I grabbed myself a Payday candy bar to boost my blood sugar. After getting all four kids back in the car I scarfed it down hoping to get a little energy boost. (Pretty picture there for you!) After cleaning all the stickiness from my fingers I started the car and off we went.

I don't know how long I had been driving when suddenly I felt confused and didn't know where I was. It was a scary moment! I was so tired and drained that I had been zoning out and just driving on "auto pilot". The sugar from the candy bar must have just been taking hold when I got confused because a moment later I recognized my surroundings and calmed down but it was such a weird experience. When I used to commute I occasionally would arrive home only to realize that I didn't remember any of the drive but this was different. I had never been on normally familiar road and not known where I was before. It kind of freaked me out!

Of course I was immediately grateful to God for keeping us from harm while my brain was on vacation. He is so gracious and merciful! We always seem to think we need to have it all together, spiritually and here in the physical world but God's grace is big enough to cover us when we stumble (which I do every single day!) or our brain's decline to join us.

It got me to thinking though. How often do I put my spiritual life on "auto pilot" and just zone out? If something had happened while I was driving I wouldn't have been alert enough to drive defensively or avert an accident. The same goes for my spiritual condition. If I am just zoning out I am unprepared for whatever may lie around the next corner. Or I may just crash because I don't have the energy to keep going.

Today I made sure I kept my energy up by eating when I started to lag. I also made sure I fed on the Word and prayed this morning before I went to do VBS again so I had the energy (spiritually speaking) to teach the kids. My beautiful partner Aislinn was so sweet and concerned for me that she brought an extra yogurt so I could have one if I needed it. I know I need to take care of myself but it sure is nice to have friends that will look out for me too.

And above all it's so good to have a God who is watching over me every second of every minute of every day and isn't afraid to intervene when necessary.

God never zones out.

Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 1 Peter 1:13 NKJV *

*When you see the word "therefore" you need to find out what it's there for! If you aren't familiar with this passage then go read at least verses 1-13 of chapter 1. It's a very encouraging passage of scripture!

Where is she?

2005-08-08T13:18:00.000-07:00

Hello my friends in blog land. I just looked at my own blog and realized it has been quite some time since I have posted! Bad, bad me. Know what I realized? Looking at your own blog when you haven't been posting is like stepping on the scale after a long time period (especially if you've been snacking a lot!) It's not a good feeling!

I would love to tell you I have a fantastic post for you...

...but I don't.

My Mom has been in town from Wyoming (I only see her once a year). My Aunt who raised me was just diagnosed with lung cancer and had surgery for an aneurysm last week. (It was a high risk surgery that we weren't sure she would make it through. Praise the Lord, she is doing well.) I went camping, to a family reunion and now this week I am teaching at Vacation Bible School. As if that weren't enough, tonight we are picking up our second dog!

Today I need to get prepared for the dog, clean my house, wash the stinky camping laundry and put all our gear away. I also need to prepare for tomorrow's class, read an assigned book and I think I may try to squeeze in a nervous break down (but only if there's time!)

So, I don't think I have time to write anything earth shattering or life changing today. The rest of the week isn't looking too good for that either! I keep thinking life will settle down soon but it hasn't happened yet so I'm making no promises. Besides, if I find a moment I may take it to knit (my new hobby!) That's nice and relaxing and I don't have to think much! In fact, maybe I'll reschedule my nervous breakdown and knit instead....

For who is God, except the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? It is God who arms me with strength, And makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of deer, And sets me on my high places. He teaches my hands to make war, So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great. You enlarged my path under me, So my feet did not slip. Psalm 18:31-36

I absolutely love those verses at times like this! I am reminded that the Lord is my strength. He has ordered my steps and makes my way perfect. And when I am to tired to walk any further He gently scoops me up into His arms and carries me. My life can become a whirlwind of activity that makes me feel like I might lose my marlbes, but God is my peace. He is my refuge. I hope that if your life is as busy as mine (or even if it's not) you will take the time to meet with the Lord. He loves to be our strength and our peace. I think I will put aside the knitting for the moment too. I just thought of something I'd rather be doing.

Aauugghhhh!!!!

2005-07-28T08:05:00.000-07:00

I was just reading Comforting Words on Fish's blog and now I am anything but comforted! He tells how he went up to the kids camp and there was a girl crying that he tried to cheer up. I have two girls up there! If you're a mom you know how I'm feeling right about now.

It may not even be my kid but I still want to whip out my superhero cape (every mom is issued one when that first child arrives) and race up there to the rescue! I want to protect! I want to defend! Would someone just give me a sword?!

Deep breath.

I am amazed at the fierceness that I feel when someone messes with a person I care about. I don't think it's limited to parents either because there is another situation in my life that's causing me to feel protective and fierce. I want to act but all I can do is pray. Really, that's the best weapon or defense there is but I still feel helpless. I still want to do something to make it better!

I guess this is where trust comes in. I have to trust that my Heavenly Father knows both situations and they are fully under His control. I need to remember that He loves both sets of people far more than I ever could and He has their best interests at heart.

In truth I don't want to spare my kids every heartache because they will never grow if I do. How can they mature and build character if life is always perfection? And more importantly, how would they ever learn to call out to God for help if there was never a problem?

I've seen this played out in my own life over and over again and God has always been faithful. I look back at some of the hard things I've been through and I can see that He used them to grow and mature me.

He has never failed me.

So I will trust Him with my kids and with the other thing (and no I'm not telling you what it is!) I will pray and I will be there for both parties if they need me. And I will trust.

Thank you for indulging my thinking out loud and sloppy writing! Now go find something better to read because I have to get ready to get my girls from that camp. Hmmm, I don't have a sword but I could make a whip out of some things around the house......

A tip (or two!)

2005-07-25T12:27:00.000-07:00

My two oldest are at camp this week so I'm a little short on time. When they are gone I am reminded of (and quit impressed at) how much they do to help around here. For example, I have to do the dishes, laundry, sweep, vacuum and entertain the two little ones (among other things.) All stuff I used to do regularly when they were younger, but as they have grown Jessica and Arielle have taken over some of these responsiblities. They are especially helpful with the baby (as in, I haven't yet had a shower today because they aren't here to watch her! I just put her down for a nap though so I'll get one soon!) They also cook simple dinners and Jessica bakes the cookies for her dad's lunches.

I know some might say that I ask to much of them but I think it's important for all of my kids to learn 1). that they are an important part of this family and their contributions are valued, 2). the world doesn't actually revolve around them and they are expected to contribute and 3). they need to learn to take care of themselves and others. Being a servant is an essential part of not only family life, but a life pleasing to God. (There are more than three things that I think are important but that's all I could come up with on short notice!) :)

I need to go take a quick shower while I can. I didn't really intend to blog about this but since I did let me just say don't neglect the training of your kids. They will not die if you tell them no or give them responsiblity and expect them to fullfill it. It takes a whole lot of work (and we're very far from the finish line!) but it's worth it. Even though we have struggles my kids are a blessing to me. One of my aims in parenting them is that they would be a blessing to others as well.

Okay, enough lecturing. It's hot and the fruitflies are abundant (and irritating!) Here's a little tip from the Dollar Stretcher e-zine on how to get rid of those pesky little critters (without whipping out the vaccuum!) I'm going to go shower now!

Fruit Fly Trap
Regarding getting rid of "fruit flies," I learned this tip from the local agriculture extension office website. It worked great for me. Put some kitchen garbage that attracts fruitflies (wet compost materials like melon rinds, egg shells,spoiled food, etc.) in a plastic bag close to the problem area. Leave it open for up to half an hour. When you come back, simply tie the bag closed and throw it away. Repeat if necessary. This really gets rid of them in a hurry. Sara M.

Dropping by for a moment...

2005-07-22T07:18:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful morning it is here! Do you know that I am actually cold? It's breezy and raining and there is the possibility of a thundershower! Yes, I am excited by that! I am not a hot weather type of person. To me the best thing about summer is that fall (my favorite season) is next.

The weather guys say that later it should be close to 80 again so I will enjoy this morning while I have it. The melodious tinkling of my wind chimes coupled with the sound and smell of the rain drifting through my window is like a balm to my soul. It speaks of coziness and peace to me. I had planned to stay home and catch up on some chores today anyway but with the rain it's all the better! Who wants to go out in the rain? I need to scale Mt. Laundry, do some baking and I have some blueberries and raspberries that I need to make into jam and get processed.

Am I a dork for looking forward to doing these things today? Maybe, but I'm a happy dork! :) There is just something about taking care of my family that blesses me as much as it does them. There is a satisfaction in working hard to provide and care for them that is unmatched by some of the mindless pursuits out there.

Well, I hear my little Gracie crying in her room so I better get going. (I love snuggling them when they are warm and sleepy!) I just thought I'd check in since I hadn't posted in awhile. I will be posting again soon I hope!

2005-07-13T10:03:00.000-07:00

Before
(Jon built the table and chairs as a wedding present to me almost 14 years ago. Of course this was before we had four kids so we covered them with fabric. Ick!)

2005-07-13T09:56:00.000-07:00

After
(Vinyl that looks like leather! Looks just a little bit better huh? )

Grounded!

2005-07-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted for days but it's not because I have nothing to say. It's not because I've been "scooped" and others have posted what I was going to post (although I hate it when that happens!) It's because I've put myself on restriction.

Yep, I'm grounded.

I've noticed lately that I have been spending far to much time on here. With all the blogs to read, the time it takes to write one myself and then e-mail on top of that my time slips away like water down the drain. Pretty soon the day is gone and I have to frantically catch up on all I've been putting off. And, to be honest I think I've been using blogs as a little bit of an escape. Life can get overwhelming at times and my tendancy is to run away. (Of course this only makes things worse in the long run because all that stuff I'm ignoring gets lonely and makes friends with more stuff that I need to do!)

So, while I do intend to continue blogging I'm going to not let it take over my life. Besides, how will I have anything to write about if I'm hiding in my bedroom hunkered over the computer all the time!?

The last couple of days I've spent catching up on some of the things I've been putting off. I've done some sewing (which I love! How did I forget that?) I done some cleaning (which I don't love so much. It's amazing though how a clean house can make me feel peaceful but a dirty one makes me agitated!) I've even done some weeding in my wanna be garden! (Of course now there's nothing in it because I only seem to be able to grow weeds and mold but that's beside the point!)

After checking some things off my to do list I feel a little freedom. And amazingly enough I feel refreshed! (And it probably helps that I haven't been sitting like a zombie in front of this monitor.)

I've got to run, I'm working on re-upolstering my chairs and I've got bread to bake before it gets to warm! Now go outside and play before I have to ground you too!

2005-07-10T16:18:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Arielle! She's nine today! I wrote a post out last night but I haven't had time to revise it. Maybe I will get it on here tomorrow (but then again maybe I won't!)

A Good Day...

2005-07-08T04:11:00.000-07:00

The sweltering summer heat pounded relentlessly on our listless sweaty bodies. It had been like this for what seemed an eternity. We would wake to a cool clear morning but as the day aged everything seemed to blur and melt together in the increasing heat.

All day the kids had been begging me to take them to the river. Now that Jon was home they had redoubled their efforts. We were hot and tired; sprawled atop each other on the garden swing in the front yard. The thought of getting up and walking to the river was not appealing in the least but they were as pesky as mosquitoes and won out over our fatigue. We made some peanut butter sandwiches, got the baby in her stroller and set off down the hill.

As we passed through the dirt field that serves as a parking lot and crested the hill that overlooks the river we could see how shallow it had become. In the winter it would fill the entire bed but in the summer heat it had dwindled to little more than a large stream. Its usual crash and fury had mellowed to a murmur that tumbled idly over rocks in places and in others was a wide smooth expanse.

It was in such an area that I waded out first to test the waters. Shallow and smooth as it was, there was a swift current riding just below the surface that could have been dangerous if it were more than ankle deep. Bitingly cold water caused my heart to skip like the stone Jon had just thrown past me. I turned to see my offspring eagerly bouncing on the shore waiting for my signal to come in.

“It’s freezing!” I warned them.

But they didn’t care. Once I gave them the nod they crashed into the water like the running of the bulls in Spain! I braced myself for the icy spray I was about to receive. Breathless and giggling they splashed and jumped like the rainbow trout that were surely cowering nearby. They were having such a good time I was irresistibly drawn to join them.

We spent the rest of the afternoon down there. Exploring the river we slid over rocks and bounced along with the current. We floated languidly in the deep still pools and overturned rocks to find crawdads and periwinkles. We stretched out on the hot boulders that line the river and sunned ourselves like a family of lizards. We watched the eagles circle overhead in lazy patterns while we ate our peanut butter sandwiches.

By the time we left we were covered in sand and completely exhausted. After trudging up the hill to our house we got everyone cleaned up and ready for bed. Jon and I were once again gently swinging in the front yard when they all tumbled out of the house to say goodnight. They piled onto the swing with us and settled their little warm bodies against us.

The gentle evening breeze ruffled our hair and tickled our noses with the smell of warm cedar trees. As the sky turned orange and pink I felt suspended between heaven and earth. I looked up at my handsome husband then at my beautiful children in awe of the blessings God has given me. Sleepily my son murmured, “It was a good day, huh Mom?”

Yes son, it was a very good day.

2005-07-06T13:33:00.000-07:00

This looks like a good spot!
(His sisters were hogging up the couches and Grace was in his room so he made a bed out of the kitchen chairs.)

I need a nap!

2005-07-06T13:13:00.000-07:00

I had planned to blog today, I really did! But the neighbor kid spent the night (think noisy giggling nine year olds!) I lost count of how many times they woke me up! It's kind of ironic too because I was recently convicted for my lack of love toward my neighbors. I had been irritated by them (read self righteous) instead of loving them where they are at. So now I am trying to love them as the Lord does (and praying fervently that He would work that in me because I know I can't do it on my own!) Maybe I was supposed to learn something here? ;)

Anyway, I have a bad cold and I doubt I could write anything good if my life depended on it. So I will spare you! I'm going to go take some cold medicine and drink some tea. Maybe I'll get something posted tomorrow.

2005-07-03T21:20:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July! This is all you get until at least Tuesday! (Can you guess which feet are mine?)

Silliness

2005-07-02T09:35:00.000-07:00

Well, the neighbor kids are out in force with their bottle rockets and other explosive devices so I'm here cowering by my computer! For lack of anything better to write (and knowing you're probably all out blowing things up or eating 4th of July fare) I'm just posting random tidbits.

Joke from Jessica when she was six:

Knock Knock

Whose there?

Panther

Panther who?

Panth or no panths I'm going thwimmin!

~

When Arielle was 3 we were exposed to lice. Of course I was terribly paranoid so we sat around like a family of apes looking for bugs on each other. I had just finished looking through her hair when she asked if she could search mine. I said yes (because I love to have my hair played with!) A few seconds after starting she said, "Mommy! There's a teeny tiny pido (spider) in you hair!"

Of course I freaked! "Where!?" I screamed while frantically contorting in front the mirror. Meanwhile, there was my *ahem* darling daughter rolling around on the floor laughing! She had been joking with me! She must get her twisted sense of humor from Jon! ;)

~

When Jess was three we were going through her dresser and cleaning out the stuff that was to small for her. At one point she held up a bathing suit and asked, "Mom? Is this a one piece or a zucchini?"

I'm certain she'll be thrilled to know that I've shared this with you so here's another!

Also when she was three I asked her what she would like for breakfast. She said "A cheese wallet please!"

So I happily made her a cheese omelet.

~

Okay, I'll stop torturing you now! (I'd post some about Josh but being a boy his funny things all have to do with body functions and I don't know that you'd appreciate his humor! )

Have a great 4th!

And the Oscar goes to....

2005-06-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

She had wanted to do it for some time but it hadn’t worked out until now. Finally though, the time had come and she was up to the task. She gathered the items she would need and set to work. She cracked, she poured, she scrambled and she cooked. Oh, what a breakfast this would be!

“Juice!” she thought. The crowning touch! There was no beautiful tray to serve it on so she improvised and used a cutting board. Small hands proudly bore her carefully crafted gift down the hall and into my room where she presented her offering to me. The brightness of her smile rivaled the sun. I was touched and deeply blessed by her thoughtfulness.

I was grossed out by the under mixed, runny eggs and ‘so tart I may never pry my lips apart again’ lemonade that was to be my breakfast!

Of course I didn’t say that! Instead I thanked her and told her what a good job she had done and what a blessing she is to me. She stood there looking at me expectantly; waiting for me to eat.

My mind frantically searched for a way to avoid eating that yellow and white pile of slime that was grinning up at me from the plate. Thinking quickly I gestured toward the computer and said, “I’m just going to finish this up since I’m in the middle of something, and then I will eat my eggs. Why don’t you go get your breakfast, okay?”

I took a sip of lemonade to show my sincerity. My lips puckered so much that my cheeks cramped but she saw it as my desire for a kiss. A quick peck and off she dashed to get a bowl of cheerios.

I went back to work and tried to ignore the eggs that were mocking me from the blue trimmed white plate that I used to think was pretty! I would still have to eat them however, I had a plan. I had set them by the open window so they could get icy cold while I finished what I was doing!

When enough time had passed, (and I had given some of the lemonade to my son) I wandered nonchalantly out to the kitchen.

“How were the eggs Mommy?”

“Well, while I was working they got cold so I’m just going to warm them up and then I will eat them right away!” I said cheerfully.

Then I nuked them until they resembled one of those hard rubber balls that bounce all over the house when you drop them! Yummy! Not a hint of slime anywhere! I sat at the table to eat them in front of her and made appreciative noises all the way through.

“Those were fabulous Arielle!”

“Great!” she says, “What should I make for lunch?!”

Peanut butter actually looks alluring after facing those eggs first thing in the morning!

~

How many times have I brought the spiritual equivalent of runny eggs and sour lemonade to my heavenly Father? It’s probably a lot more than I think! Yet He has never once turned my offering away. Like the loving parent He is, He receives my gift with joy knowing it was my desire to bless Him.

If it is your heart to bless God, don’t be afraid that your gift won’t be good enough. Don’t look around to see the other things laying on the altar and start comparing yours unfavorably to them. It’s your heart He wants. Whatever is in your hand becomes the most precious jewel, the purest gold when it’s given from a devoted heart.

When presented in love an old cutting board, a plate of runny eggs and a tall glass of sour lemonade suddenly becomes a sumptuous banquet on the finest china, a goblet of the clearest crystal and a silver tray so pure it dazzles the eye.

“For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the humble with salvation.” Psalm 149:4

Picture

2005-06-28T15:51:00.000-07:00

Okay, for those of you who have been bugging me to post a picture to my profile; here you go. Yes, it was painful! I hate having my picture taken (and really hate posting it to the internet!) Be nice to me (because I will delete mean comments!) :)

Justified For Evermore...

2005-06-28T10:31:00.000-07:00

Here is a poem that I love...

JUSTIFIED FOR EVERMORE

…The Lord wiped every tear away, and turned
to see his bride. Her heart had yearned
Four thousand years for this; His face
Shone like the sun, and every trace
Of wrath was gone. And in her bliss
She heard the Master say “Watch this;
Come forth all goodness from the ground,
Come forth, and let the earth redound with joy.”
And as he spoke the throne
Of God came down to earth and shone
Like golden crystal full of light,
And banished, once for all, the night.
And from the throne a steam began
To flow and laugh, and as it ran,
It made a river and a lake,
And everywhere it flowed, a wake
Of grass broke on the banks and spread
Like resurrection from the dead.

And in the twinkling of an eye
The saints descended from the sky.

And as I knelt beside the brook
To drink eternal life, I took
A glance across the golden grass,
And saw my dog, old Blackie fast
As she could come. She leaped the stream –
Almost and what a happy gleam
Was in her eye. I knelt to drink,
And knew that I was on the brink
Of endless joy. And everywhere

I turned I saw a wonder there.
A big man running on the lawn;
That’s old John Younge with both legs on.
The blind can see a bird on wing,
The dumb can lift their voice and sing.
The diabetic eats at will.
The coronary runs up hill.

The lame can walk, the deaf can hear,
The cancer-ridden bone is clear.
Arthritic joints are lithe and free,
And every pain has ceased to be.
And every sorrow deep within,
And every trace of lingering sin
Is gone. And all that’s left is joy
And endless ages to employ
The mind and heart, and understand,
And love the sovereign Lord who planned
That it should take eternity
To lavish all his grace on me.

O, God of wonder, God of might,
Grant us some elevated sight,
Of endless days. And let us see
The joy of what is yet to be.
Any may your future make us free,
And guard us by the hope that we,
Through the grace on lands that you restore,
Are justified for evermore.

DR. JOHN PIPER

2005-06-23T10:04:00.000-07:00

The podium Jon built. (I have more to say on this subject but we are going camping today and I just don't have time! I will be back Saturday and hopefully post again soon.)

Scrap Wood...

2005-06-23T09:59:00.000-07:00

A few years ago my husband was asked to build a new podium for our church. He is a woodworker by trade so he was excited to apply his skill to something for the Lord. The first thing he did was design it. He went online and looked at every picture of every podium he could find. In the end, it didn’t look like anything he had seen. It was completely original, a one of a kind creation.

When he was finally done with all the planning it was time to choose the wood that he would use. Jon has a knack for looking at a big hunk of wood and seeing the potential while the rest of us just see firewood. He meticulously chose one type that would make up the panels, the deck and the frame. Then he chose another for the dove that he planned to inlay on the front. Each piece that was considered was inspected and when he found the right ones they were set apart for his purposes. Then he carefully cut each part out, shaped it, fit them together, took them apart and reshaped where necessary, then fit them together again.

Finally, when all the parts were to his standards he glued them together and made the body. At this point he had an actual podium that would have been functional but he wasn’t done with it yet. He wasn’t going for simply functional; he wanted to create a thing of beauty. So he sanded it and smoothed it and got it prepared for spraying. It’s when a piece is sprayed that it really seems to come alive. The warmth of the wood is brought right out there for the eye to see. The grain of the wood that before just seemed invisible suddenly appears with shimmering beauty and there is a depth wasn’t previously noticed.

Just as Jon meticulously planned and created the podium; God carefully designed and lovingly hand crafted each and every one of us. He chose the color of your eyes and the shade of your hair. He shaped each and every eyelash. All those freckles you probably hated as a kid? He put each one in its place. There isn’t a single thing about you that happened by accident.

Psalm 139:13-16 says, “For you formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.”

Many of us will look at our lives and not see the potential that God sees. We don’t understand how He could use us. The people we would choose have talents and gifts that seem far beyond what we have been given but God sees beyond the rough splintery outside to the beauty that lies within.

One thing you should know about the podium; it was made entirely out of scrap wood. Every piece in it was destined to be thrown away or burned. You may feel destined for the scrap pile but God sees even your potential. After all, He’s the one who put it there. Will you surrender to the hands of the Master Craftsman and allow Him to reveal the loveliness He placed in you?

A Blank Page

2005-06-22T08:43:00.000-07:00

Writing is hard! I sit down with my pen and tablet thinking, “Okay! This time I’ll get something down!” But then I look at that sheet of paper, clean, crisp…blank like my mind! Am I the only one who looks at it and sees a yawning chasm? I know I’m supposed to fill it with thoughts and ideas but it’s so vast! It’s so empty and huge that I feel lost on the page.

I have never thought of myself as a writer. I feel intimidated and overwhelmed by the very idea of it! Writers are these brilliant people who can paint pictures with a word, make profound truths simple enough to understand and touch feelings and emotions with the stroke of a pen. I’m just a woman with a big vocabulary.

And yet I feel a pull to write. I’m drawn to it even though it frightens me. What am I afraid of?

Failing.

What if I’m just kidding myself? What if they just laugh at me? Will I look dumb? In my mind my thoughts are private. I can scribble and doodle and no one will ever know. But when you write those thoughts down on paper it’s like hanging your underwear out on the clothesline for all your neighbors to see. You know they all have them too but theirs aren’t out there dangling in the breeze!

What if I let my fear keep me from writing? What if I am too afraid to step out of the boat onto the water? I will be safe in the boat, that’s true but Jesus isn’t in the boat. He’s out there waiting for me. I have to get out and stand exposed on the water to get to Him.

If it is true that I have a gift for writing then I want to be faithful with it. I don’t want to just bury it and not share it. If I have it, it’s for a reason.

In Isaiah (6:8-9) it says, “Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” And He said, “Go, and tell this people:”

Am I willing to be sent? Will I “go and tell this people”?

Maybe failing isn’t in writing something lousy, maybe failing is in not writing at all.

2005-06-18T09:54:00.000-07:00

I haven't had time to blog this week so I'm cheating and posting a pic. (I'll get back to it soon!) We've taken to calling her Baby Won Kenobi or Obi Baby Kenobi. Wouldn't she look cute with a little tiny cloak?

I Love You More Than....

2005-06-10T07:14:00.000-07:00

My son Joshua and I have this little game we play. I’m sure it didn’t originate with us; moms have probably been playing it with their kids for ages. There aren’t really any rules and it doesn’t have a name but it’s about the best game I’ve ever played. Sometimes I start it, sometimes he does but it always ends with him in my arms.

“Hey Mom,” He yells, “I love you more than celery!

Gee thanks I think. But still, if he loved me less than celery I would be worried!

“Hey Josh!” I yell back, “I love you more than broccoli!” I’ve upped the stakes. Broccoli is my very favorite vegetable and he knows it.

His little mouth struggles to keep from smiling. His shoulders rise up to meet his ears as he fights to hide his embarrassed pleasure.

“Hey Mom.” He’s quieter now “I love you more than Lego’s.”

Wow! That’s a big one! He really means it when he brings in Lego’s! I want to grab him and squeeze him.

“Oh yeah? Well I love you more than coffee!”

Blue green eyes widen in shock! He looks like he may need to sit down for a moment, then he flashes his dimple at me in a mischievous grin.

“Do you love me more than………chocolate?”

I don’t hesitate. “Yup!”

I stretch out my arms and he launches his wiry little body at me. Then I squeeze him tight and smooch that dimple ‘til he squeals.

To One it was no game…

“Lord, do you love me?”

I love you more than heaven…

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.” John 1:14

I love you more than my comfort….
“He was oppressed and afflicted yet He opened not His mouth…” Isaiah 53:7

I love you more than my right to be honored…

“Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole garrison around Him. And they stripped Him and put a scarlet robe on Him. When they had twisted a crown of thorns, they put it on His head, and a reed in His right hand. And they bowed the knee before Him and mocked Him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews!” Then they spat on Him, and took the reed and struck Him on the head. And when they had mocked Him, they took the robe off Him, put His own clothes on Him, and led Him away to be crucified.” Matthew 27:27-31

Then He stretched out His arms and died for me, taking my sin, my shame and the punishment that should have been mine.

“Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted. But he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.” Isaiah 53:4-6

Then He conquered death so that I might live…

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

He cleared the way for me to run boldly to Him. I launched myself into His arms; He caught me and holds me tight.

His arms are open for you too…

Sisters

2005-06-07T08:03:00.000-07:00

I was standing on the side of the pool breathing the humid chlorine filled air when my gaze was drawn to them, two sisters splashing noisily. They were giggling and chasing each other in an impromptu game of tag that left me wishing I could jump in and play too. The blond one said something that caused the dark haired girl to throw back her head and laugh with such abandon that I had to smile, even though I didn’t know what was said. Though both were married with children of their own I could see the little girls they had once been.

I wanted to call to them and tell them to enjoy this moment. I wanted to point out to them just how blessed they were in case they didn’t know, but instead I just stood there silently watching as the ache in my chest grew. It was a strange kind of feeling, bittersweet because I was happy for them but at the same time jealous of their friendship.

I shared that kind of friendship with my sister once upon a time. We watched each other’s children, shared secrets, went shopping together and all the things sisters do. Then one day she met a man and fell in love with him. Normally I would have been happy for her but this man was addicted to crack cocaine and had problems with the law. He also happened to be our cousin’s boyfriend and had a child with her.

My sister disappeared with him one day and I worried about where she might be, if she and my four year old nephew were safe. Finally they called. They were in Las Vegas and had gotten married in a drive through chapel with my nephew asking for fries from the back seat. It was one of those “If I don’t laugh I will certainly cry” moments.

The only reason they had called was because they’d run out of money. The big sister in me wanted to send some right away but Jon said “No.” I knew he was right but it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. My new brother in law began to rant about what hypocrites we were because we wouldn’t send money. He raved about how if we were truly Christians we would help them out. Jon finally had to hang up on him and we didn’t hear from them again for over three years. I didn’t know where they were or how to contact them.

I cried.

I cried a lot.

Finally I came to a place where I had to give my sister to the Lord. He reminded me that He loves her far more than I ever could. He reminded me that He desires a relationship with her even more than I do. And He reminded me that He is God and knows right where she is and how to reach her.

Why am I telling you all of this? I’m not really sure other than she’s been on my mind a lot lately. I’d love to be able wrap all of this up with some wonderful lesson but I’m still new at this writing stuff and I don’t know how. Instead, I will tell you a little of what I’ve learned from this whole thing.

First, I had to let go of my sister because she was standing between me and my husband and ultimately between me and God. I had always seen her as my responsibility and to many times I put her first. God used the situation to realign my priorities; Him first, then my husband (little sisters don’t make the top two when you’re married).

Second, I learned to trust Him with her. If there is someone you love who has wandered off the path, know that God knows right where they are and what it will take to bring them back. He loves them more than you do.

Third, don’t take your relationships for granted. We don’t know what the future holds and time is too short to be nit picking. If it is an unhealthy relationship then ask the Lord to fix it but be willing to let it go if that’s what’s needed.

And fourth, don’t spend all your time mourning something you no longer have. It may hurt but God removed it for a reason. If you can take your eyes off it to look around, you will probably find He has given you many more blessings in place of whatever was removed. I have many friends who He has brought to fill that void. They laugh with me, cry with me; encourage me when I doubt myself. I can count on them to be there for me when trouble comes or share a Strawberry Frappaccino on a warm spring day.

A couple of them would probably even go swimming with me if I asked them to.

Storms...

2005-06-01T07:11:00.000-07:00

For days the air had been hot and heavy, pressing down on us like a thick blanket that left us breathless and lethargic. So when the breeze started we welcomed it. It skittered through the campsite like a playful child, flipping the pages of my book until my place was hopelessly lost but I didn't care. The cool breeze ruffling through my hair made me feel as if I were awakening from a dream that had lasted far too long.

All through the camp people were coming out of their trances. Suddenly kids on bikes were everywhere and adults were walking about chattering like they hadn’t seen each other for days.

I wanted to enjoy the turn in the weather but deep inside me a warning was going off. Something was urging me to clean up the campsite. The strong pull to get everything put away and batten down the hatches didn’t seem to fit with the gentle breeze and cloudless blue sky but I couldn’t ignore it.

I hadn’t been cleaning more than a few minutes before I noticed clouds skittering by overhead. The urgency inside me grew and I worked faster. Then someone reported thunder and lightening down by the lake. This news kicked everyone into high gear; tarps were thrown over tents, campsites secured, children and pets were rounded up and tucked inside.

Before we had fully tied the tarps down the first fat drops began to fall. It had gone from hot, still weather to windy torrential rains in less than 20 minutes. We sat huddled in the tent listening to the thunder roll for over an hour.

Finally, the rains eased and the thunder rumbled off in the distance but the wind was reluctant to leave. No longer the gentle breeze that had playfully ruffled my hair, it was now in a full blown tantrum. The tall pines overhead danced and swayed, waving their branches as if in wild applause.

The day was chased away by the fast approaching darkness but the wind still would not subside. As night fell we snuggled the little ones into the tent and settled down by the fire. I usually find evenings at camp to be soothing and peaceful but this night the wind tormented the flames, whipping and swirling them around, blowing hot acrid smoke in our faces before flinging it off into the blackness somewhere along with my peace.

In that dense darkness I could hear the trees creaking and groaning with every blast from the unrelenting wind. Finally, one could take it no longer and we heard it crack then fall with a loud crash somewhere in the inky black night.

I’m sure my eyes were wide with the terror I felt because Jon immediately tried to sooth me. He wanted to go make sure the others were safe but the thought of him disappearing into the darkness caused all of my insides to twist into knots. Finally, though I was reluctant to let him go, concern for our friends won out.

As I watched the beam of his flashlight disappear into the night the huge black void pressed in and surrounded me. I was small and vulnerable, helpless against the power of the wind that lashed about me. I sat there in the dark, alone and afraid.

“Be anxious for nothing.”

The whispered thought crept into my mind amidst the frenzied thoughts of crashing trees and smashed tents. I tried to grab it but I was being tossed wildly about by the fears whirling through my head.

“Be still.”

Though again it was only a quiet whisper the words seemed to carry all His strength and power. Suddenly, the storm that raged in me was calmed and His peace flooded my soul. I was no longer at the mercy of the storm. Instead I saw myself as a tiny flame that was cupped in large strong hands, protected from the wind.

There are so many storms that blow through our lives and most of them are unexpected. We’re just going along enjoying the sunshine and out of the blue the thunder rolls, the lightening flashes and the wind tries to tear us apart. Our minds whirl with fear and doubt and we wait anxiously for the dawn, wondering if it will ever come.

When the night is black and closing in on you, remember He is near. With but a word He created all that we see. With a whisper He can calm the storm or the child caught in it. His love for you is more powerful than the fiercest gale and He cares for His own, whether they are huddled by a campfire or wandering in the dark.

I was lulled to sleep that night by the sound of the same wind that moments before had terrified me.

I know One who is bigger than the storm.

“My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;
I shall not be moved.

In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength,
And my refuge, is in God.

Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us.”

Psalm 62:5-8