Zoning Out...

What a full morning it had been! I was teaching the first through third grade kids at our church's VBS. Those kids have a lot of energy and by the time it was over mine was gone. I was tired and hungry but I still needed to go to the store and pick up a few things. While I was in Walmart I grabbed myself a Payday candy bar to boost my blood sugar. After getting all four kids back in the car I scarfed it down hoping to get a little energy boost. (Pretty picture there for you!) After cleaning all the stickiness from my fingers I started the car and off we went.

I don't know how long I had been driving when suddenly I felt confused and didn't know where I was. It was a scary moment! I was so tired and drained that I had been zoning out and just driving on "auto pilot". The sugar from the candy bar must have just been taking hold when I got confused because a moment later I recognized my surroundings and calmed down but it was such a weird experience. When I used to commute I occasionally would arrive home only to realize that I didn't remember any of the drive but this was different. I had never been on normally familiar road and not known where I was before. It kind of freaked me out!

Of course I was immediately grateful to God for keeping us from harm while my brain was on vacation. He is so gracious and merciful! We always seem to think we need to have it all together, spiritually and here in the physical world but God's grace is big enough to cover us when we stumble (which I do every single day!) or our brain's decline to join us.

It got me to thinking though. How often do I put my spiritual life on "auto pilot" and just zone out? If something had happened while I was driving I wouldn't have been alert enough to drive defensively or avert an accident. The same goes for my spiritual condition. If I am just zoning out I am unprepared for whatever may lie around the next corner. Or I may just crash because I don't have the energy to keep going.

Today I made sure I kept my energy up by eating when I started to lag. I also made sure I fed on the Word and prayed this morning before I went to do VBS again so I had the energy (spiritually speaking) to teach the kids. My beautiful partner Aislinn was so sweet and concerned for me that she brought an extra yogurt so I could have one if I needed it. I know I need to take care of myself but it sure is nice to have friends that will look out for me too.

And above all it's so good to have a God who is watching over me every second of every minute of every day and isn't afraid to intervene when necessary.

God never zones out.

Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 1 Peter 1:13 NKJV *

*When you see the word "therefore" you need to find out what it's there for! If you aren't familiar with this passage then go read at least verses 1-13 of chapter 1. It's a very encouraging passage of scripture!

Where is she?

Hello my friends in blog land. I just looked at my own blog and realized it has been quite some time since I have posted! Bad, bad me. Know what I realized? Looking at your own blog when you haven't been posting is like stepping on the scale after a long time period (especially if you've been snacking a lot!) It's not a good feeling!

I would love to tell you I have a fantastic post for you...

...but I don't.

My Mom has been in town from Wyoming (I only see her once a year). My Aunt who raised me was just diagnosed with lung cancer and had surgery for an aneurysm last week. (It was a high risk surgery that we weren't sure she would make it through. Praise the Lord, she is doing well.) I went camping, to a family reunion and now this week I am teaching at Vacation Bible School. As if that weren't enough, tonight we are picking up our second dog!

Today I need to get prepared for the dog, clean my house, wash the stinky camping laundry and put all our gear away. I also need to prepare for tomorrow's class, read an assigned book and I think I may try to squeeze in a nervous break down (but only if there's time!)

So, I don't think I have time to write anything earth shattering or life changing today. The rest of the week isn't looking too good for that either! I keep thinking life will settle down soon but it hasn't happened yet so I'm making no promises. Besides, if I find a moment I may take it to knit (my new hobby!) That's nice and relaxing and I don't have to think much! In fact, maybe I'll reschedule my nervous breakdown and knit instead....

For who is God, except the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? It is God who arms me with strength, And makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of deer, And sets me on my high places. He teaches my hands to make war, So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great. You enlarged my path under me, So my feet did not slip. Psalm 18:31-36

I absolutely love those verses at times like this! I am reminded that the Lord is my strength. He has ordered my steps and makes my way perfect. And when I am to tired to walk any further He gently scoops me up into His arms and carries me. My life can become a whirlwind of activity that makes me feel like I might lose my marlbes, but God is my peace. He is my refuge. I hope that if your life is as busy as mine (or even if it's not) you will take the time to meet with the Lord. He loves to be our strength and our peace. I think I will put aside the knitting for the moment too. I just thought of something I'd rather be doing.

Aauugghhhh!!!!

I was just reading Comforting Words on Fish's blog and now I am anything but comforted! He tells how he went up to the kids camp and there was a girl crying that he tried to cheer up. I have two girls up there! If you're a mom you know how I'm feeling right about now.

It may not even be my kid but I still want to whip out my superhero cape (every mom is issued one when that first child arrives) and race up there to the rescue! I want to protect! I want to defend! Would someone just give me a sword?!

Deep breath.

I am amazed at the fierceness that I feel when someone messes with a person I care about. I don't think it's limited to parents either because there is another situation in my life that's causing me to feel protective and fierce. I want to act but all I can do is pray. Really, that's the best weapon or defense there is but I still feel helpless. I still want to do something to make it better!

I guess this is where trust comes in. I have to trust that my Heavenly Father knows both situations and they are fully under His control. I need to remember that He loves both sets of people far more than I ever could and He has their best interests at heart.

In truth I don't want to spare my kids every heartache because they will never grow if I do. How can they mature and build character if life is always perfection? And more importantly, how would they ever learn to call out to God for help if there was never a problem?

I've seen this played out in my own life over and over again and God has always been faithful. I look back at some of the hard things I've been through and I can see that He used them to grow and mature me.

He has never failed me.

So I will trust Him with my kids and with the other thing (and no I'm not telling you what it is!) I will pray and I will be there for both parties if they need me. And I will trust.

Thank you for indulging my thinking out loud and sloppy writing! Now go find something better to read because I have to get ready to get my girls from that camp. Hmmm, I don't have a sword but I could make a whip out of some things around the house......

A tip (or two!)

My two oldest are at camp this week so I'm a little short on time. When they are gone I am reminded of (and quit impressed at) how much they do to help around here. For example, I have to do the dishes, laundry, sweep, vacuum and entertain the two little ones (among other things.) All stuff I used to do regularly when they were younger, but as they have grown Jessica and Arielle have taken over some of these responsiblities. They are especially helpful with the baby (as in, I haven't yet had a shower today because they aren't here to watch her! I just put her down for a nap though so I'll get one soon!) They also cook simple dinners and Jessica bakes the cookies for her dad's lunches.

I know some might say that I ask to much of them but I think it's important for all of my kids to learn 1). that they are an important part of this family and their contributions are valued, 2). the world doesn't actually revolve around them and they are expected to contribute and 3). they need to learn to take care of themselves and others. Being a servant is an essential part of not only family life, but a life pleasing to God. (There are more than three things that I think are important but that's all I could come up with on short notice!) :)

I need to go take a quick shower while I can. I didn't really intend to blog about this but since I did let me just say don't neglect the training of your kids. They will not die if you tell them no or give them responsiblity and expect them to fullfill it. It takes a whole lot of work (and we're very far from the finish line!) but it's worth it. Even though we have struggles my kids are a blessing to me. One of my aims in parenting them is that they would be a blessing to others as well.

Okay, enough lecturing. It's hot and the fruitflies are abundant (and irritating!) Here's a little tip from the Dollar Stretcher e-zine on how to get rid of those pesky little critters (without whipping out the vaccuum!) I'm going to go shower now!

Fruit Fly Trap
Regarding getting rid of "fruit flies," I learned this tip from the local agriculture extension office website. It worked great for me. Put some kitchen garbage that attracts fruitflies (wet compost materials like melon rinds, egg shells,spoiled food, etc.) in a plastic bag close to the problem area. Leave it open for up to half an hour. When you come back, simply tie the bag closed and throw it away. Repeat if necessary. This really gets rid of them in a hurry. Sara M.

Dropping by for a moment...

What a beautiful morning it is here! Do you know that I am actually cold? It's breezy and raining and there is the possibility of a thundershower! Yes, I am excited by that! I am not a hot weather type of person. To me the best thing about summer is that fall (my favorite season) is next.

The weather guys say that later it should be close to 80 again so I will enjoy this morning while I have it. The melodious tinkling of my wind chimes coupled with the sound and smell of the rain drifting through my window is like a balm to my soul. It speaks of coziness and peace to me. I had planned to stay home and catch up on some chores today anyway but with the rain it's all the better! Who wants to go out in the rain? I need to scale Mt. Laundry, do some baking and I have some blueberries and raspberries that I need to make into jam and get processed.

Am I a dork for looking forward to doing these things today? Maybe, but I'm a happy dork! :) There is just something about taking care of my family that blesses me as much as it does them. There is a satisfaction in working hard to provide and care for them that is unmatched by some of the mindless pursuits out there.

Well, I hear my little Gracie crying in her room so I better get going. (I love snuggling them when they are warm and sleepy!) I just thought I'd check in since I hadn't posted in awhile. I will be posting again soon I hope!

Before
(Jon built the table and chairs as a wedding present to me almost 14 years ago. Of course this was before we had four kids so we covered them with fabric. Ick!)

After
(Vinyl that looks like leather! Looks just a little bit better huh? )

Grounded!

I haven't posted for days but it's not because I have nothing to say. It's not because I've been "scooped" and others have posted what I was going to post (although I hate it when that happens!) It's because I've put myself on restriction.

Yep, I'm grounded.

I've noticed lately that I have been spending far to much time on here. With all the blogs to read, the time it takes to write one myself and then e-mail on top of that my time slips away like water down the drain. Pretty soon the day is gone and I have to frantically catch up on all I've been putting off. And, to be honest I think I've been using blogs as a little bit of an escape. Life can get overwhelming at times and my tendancy is to run away. (Of course this only makes things worse in the long run because all that stuff I'm ignoring gets lonely and makes friends with more stuff that I need to do!)

So, while I do intend to continue blogging I'm going to not let it take over my life. Besides, how will I have anything to write about if I'm hiding in my bedroom hunkered over the computer all the time!?

The last couple of days I've spent catching up on some of the things I've been putting off. I've done some sewing (which I love! How did I forget that?) I done some cleaning (which I don't love so much. It's amazing though how a clean house can make me feel peaceful but a dirty one makes me agitated!) I've even done some weeding in my wanna be garden! (Of course now there's nothing in it because I only seem to be able to grow weeds and mold but that's beside the point!)

After checking some things off my to do list I feel a little freedom. And amazingly enough I feel refreshed! (And it probably helps that I haven't been sitting like a zombie in front of this monitor.)

I've got to run, I'm working on re-upolstering my chairs and I've got bread to bake before it gets to warm! Now go outside and play before I have to ground you too!

Happy Birthday Arielle! She's nine today! I wrote a post out last night but I haven't had time to revise it. Maybe I will get it on here tomorrow (but then again maybe I won't!)

A Good Day...

The sweltering summer heat pounded relentlessly on our listless sweaty bodies. It had been like this for what seemed an eternity. We would wake to a cool clear morning but as the day aged everything seemed to blur and melt together in the increasing heat.

All day the kids had been begging me to take them to the river. Now that Jon was home they had redoubled their efforts. We were hot and tired; sprawled atop each other on the garden swing in the front yard. The thought of getting up and walking to the river was not appealing in the least but they were as pesky as mosquitoes and won out over our fatigue. We made some peanut butter sandwiches, got the baby in her stroller and set off down the hill.

As we passed through the dirt field that serves as a parking lot and crested the hill that overlooks the river we could see how shallow it had become. In the winter it would fill the entire bed but in the summer heat it had dwindled to little more than a large stream. Its usual crash and fury had mellowed to a murmur that tumbled idly over rocks in places and in others was a wide smooth expanse.

It was in such an area that I waded out first to test the waters. Shallow and smooth as it was, there was a swift current riding just below the surface that could have been dangerous if it were more than ankle deep. Bitingly cold water caused my heart to skip like the stone Jon had just thrown past me. I turned to see my offspring eagerly bouncing on the shore waiting for my signal to come in.

“It’s freezing!” I warned them.

But they didn’t care. Once I gave them the nod they crashed into the water like the running of the bulls in Spain! I braced myself for the icy spray I was about to receive. Breathless and giggling they splashed and jumped like the rainbow trout that were surely cowering nearby. They were having such a good time I was irresistibly drawn to join them.

We spent the rest of the afternoon down there. Exploring the river we slid over rocks and bounced along with the current. We floated languidly in the deep still pools and overturned rocks to find crawdads and periwinkles. We stretched out on the hot boulders that line the river and sunned ourselves like a family of lizards. We watched the eagles circle overhead in lazy patterns while we ate our peanut butter sandwiches.

By the time we left we were covered in sand and completely exhausted. After trudging up the hill to our house we got everyone cleaned up and ready for bed. Jon and I were once again gently swinging in the front yard when they all tumbled out of the house to say goodnight. They piled onto the swing with us and settled their little warm bodies against us.

The gentle evening breeze ruffled our hair and tickled our noses with the smell of warm cedar trees. As the sky turned orange and pink I felt suspended between heaven and earth. I looked up at my handsome husband then at my beautiful children in awe of the blessings God has given me. Sleepily my son murmured, “It was a good day, huh Mom?”

Yes son, it was a very good day.

This looks like a good spot!
(His sisters were hogging up the couches and Grace was in his room so he made a bed out of the kitchen chairs.)

I need a nap!

I had planned to blog today, I really did! But the neighbor kid spent the night (think noisy giggling nine year olds!) I lost count of how many times they woke me up! It's kind of ironic too because I was recently convicted for my lack of love toward my neighbors. I had been irritated by them (read self righteous) instead of loving them where they are at. So now I am trying to love them as the Lord does (and praying fervently that He would work that in me because I know I can't do it on my own!) Maybe I was supposed to learn something here? ;)

Anyway, I have a bad cold and I doubt I could write anything good if my life depended on it. So I will spare you! I'm going to go take some cold medicine and drink some tea. Maybe I'll get something posted tomorrow.

Happy 4th of July! This is all you get until at least Tuesday! (Can you guess which feet are mine?)

Silliness

Well, the neighbor kids are out in force with their bottle rockets and other explosive devices so I'm here cowering by my computer! For lack of anything better to write (and knowing you're probably all out blowing things up or eating 4th of July fare) I'm just posting random tidbits.

Joke from Jessica when she was six:

Knock Knock

Whose there?

Panther

Panther who?

Panth or no panths I'm going thwimmin!

~

When Arielle was 3 we were exposed to lice. Of course I was terribly paranoid so we sat around like a family of apes looking for bugs on each other. I had just finished looking through her hair when she asked if she could search mine. I said yes (because I love to have my hair played with!) A few seconds after starting she said, "Mommy! There's a teeny tiny pido (spider) in you hair!"

Of course I freaked! "Where!?" I screamed while frantically contorting in front the mirror. Meanwhile, there was my *ahem* darling daughter rolling around on the floor laughing! She had been joking with me! She must get her twisted sense of humor from Jon! ;)

~

When Jess was three we were going through her dresser and cleaning out the stuff that was to small for her. At one point she held up a bathing suit and asked, "Mom? Is this a one piece or a zucchini?"

I'm certain she'll be thrilled to know that I've shared this with you so here's another!

Also when she was three I asked her what she would like for breakfast. She said "A cheese wallet please!"

So I happily made her a cheese omelet.

~

Okay, I'll stop torturing you now! (I'd post some about Josh but being a boy his funny things all have to do with body functions and I don't know that you'd appreciate his humor! )

Have a great 4th!

And the Oscar goes to....

She had wanted to do it for some time but it hadn’t worked out until now. Finally though, the time had come and she was up to the task. She gathered the items she would need and set to work. She cracked, she poured, she scrambled and she cooked. Oh, what a breakfast this would be!

“Juice!” she thought. The crowning touch! There was no beautiful tray to serve it on so she improvised and used a cutting board. Small hands proudly bore her carefully crafted gift down the hall and into my room where she presented her offering to me. The brightness of her smile rivaled the sun. I was touched and deeply blessed by her thoughtfulness.

I was grossed out by the under mixed, runny eggs and ‘so tart I may never pry my lips apart again’ lemonade that was to be my breakfast!

Of course I didn’t say that! Instead I thanked her and told her what a good job she had done and what a blessing she is to me. She stood there looking at me expectantly; waiting for me to eat.

My mind frantically searched for a way to avoid eating that yellow and white pile of slime that was grinning up at me from the plate. Thinking quickly I gestured toward the computer and said, “I’m just going to finish this up since I’m in the middle of something, and then I will eat my eggs. Why don’t you go get your breakfast, okay?”

I took a sip of lemonade to show my sincerity. My lips puckered so much that my cheeks cramped but she saw it as my desire for a kiss. A quick peck and off she dashed to get a bowl of cheerios.

I went back to work and tried to ignore the eggs that were mocking me from the blue trimmed white plate that I used to think was pretty! I would still have to eat them however, I had a plan. I had set them by the open window so they could get icy cold while I finished what I was doing!

When enough time had passed, (and I had given some of the lemonade to my son) I wandered nonchalantly out to the kitchen.

“How were the eggs Mommy?”

“Well, while I was working they got cold so I’m just going to warm them up and then I will eat them right away!” I said cheerfully.

Then I nuked them until they resembled one of those hard rubber balls that bounce all over the house when you drop them! Yummy! Not a hint of slime anywhere! I sat at the table to eat them in front of her and made appreciative noises all the way through.

“Those were fabulous Arielle!”

“Great!” she says, “What should I make for lunch?!”

Peanut butter actually looks alluring after facing those eggs first thing in the morning!

~

How many times have I brought the spiritual equivalent of runny eggs and sour lemonade to my heavenly Father? It’s probably a lot more than I think! Yet He has never once turned my offering away. Like the loving parent He is, He receives my gift with joy knowing it was my desire to bless Him.

If it is your heart to bless God, don’t be afraid that your gift won’t be good enough. Don’t look around to see the other things laying on the altar and start comparing yours unfavorably to them. It’s your heart He wants. Whatever is in your hand becomes the most precious jewel, the purest gold when it’s given from a devoted heart.

When presented in love an old cutting board, a plate of runny eggs and a tall glass of sour lemonade suddenly becomes a sumptuous banquet on the finest china, a goblet of the clearest crystal and a silver tray so pure it dazzles the eye.

“For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the humble with salvation.” Psalm 149:4

Picture

Okay, for those of you who have been bugging me to post a picture to my profile; here you go. Yes, it was painful! I hate having my picture taken (and really hate posting it to the internet!) Be nice to me (because I will delete mean comments!) :)

Justified For Evermore...

Here is a poem that I love...

JUSTIFIED FOR EVERMORE

…The Lord wiped every tear away, and turned
to see his bride. Her heart had yearned
Four thousand years for this; His face
Shone like the sun, and every trace
Of wrath was gone. And in her bliss
She heard the Master say “Watch this;
Come forth all goodness from the ground,
Come forth, and let the earth redound with joy.”
And as he spoke the throne
Of God came down to earth and shone
Like golden crystal full of light,
And banished, once for all, the night.
And from the throne a steam began
To flow and laugh, and as it ran,
It made a river and a lake,
And everywhere it flowed, a wake
Of grass broke on the banks and spread
Like resurrection from the dead.

And in the twinkling of an eye
The saints descended from the sky.

And as I knelt beside the brook
To drink eternal life, I took
A glance across the golden grass,
And saw my dog, old Blackie fast
As she could come. She leaped the stream –
Almost and what a happy gleam
Was in her eye. I knelt to drink,
And knew that I was on the brink
Of endless joy. And everywhere

I turned I saw a wonder there.
A big man running on the lawn;
That’s old John Younge with both legs on.
The blind can see a bird on wing,
The dumb can lift their voice and sing.
The diabetic eats at will.
The coronary runs up hill.

The lame can walk, the deaf can hear,
The cancer-ridden bone is clear.
Arthritic joints are lithe and free,
And every pain has ceased to be.
And every sorrow deep within,
And every trace of lingering sin
Is gone. And all that’s left is joy
And endless ages to employ
The mind and heart, and understand,
And love the sovereign Lord who planned
That it should take eternity
To lavish all his grace on me.

O, God of wonder, God of might,
Grant us some elevated sight,
Of endless days. And let us see
The joy of what is yet to be.
Any may your future make us free,
And guard us by the hope that we,
Through the grace on lands that you restore,
Are justified for evermore.

DR. JOHN PIPER

The podium Jon built. (I have more to say on this subject but we are going camping today and I just don't have time! I will be back Saturday and hopefully post again soon.)

Scrap Wood...

A few years ago my husband was asked to build a new podium for our church. He is a woodworker by trade so he was excited to apply his skill to something for the Lord. The first thing he did was design it. He went online and looked at every picture of every podium he could find. In the end, it didn’t look like anything he had seen. It was completely original, a one of a kind creation.

When he was finally done with all the planning it was time to choose the wood that he would use. Jon has a knack for looking at a big hunk of wood and seeing the potential while the rest of us just see firewood. He meticulously chose one type that would make up the panels, the deck and the frame. Then he chose another for the dove that he planned to inlay on the front. Each piece that was considered was inspected and when he found the right ones they were set apart for his purposes. Then he carefully cut each part out, shaped it, fit them together, took them apart and reshaped where necessary, then fit them together again.

Finally, when all the parts were to his standards he glued them together and made the body. At this point he had an actual podium that would have been functional but he wasn’t done with it yet. He wasn’t going for simply functional; he wanted to create a thing of beauty. So he sanded it and smoothed it and got it prepared for spraying. It’s when a piece is sprayed that it really seems to come alive. The warmth of the wood is brought right out there for the eye to see. The grain of the wood that before just seemed invisible suddenly appears with shimmering beauty and there is a depth wasn’t previously noticed.

Just as Jon meticulously planned and created the podium; God carefully designed and lovingly hand crafted each and every one of us. He chose the color of your eyes and the shade of your hair. He shaped each and every eyelash. All those freckles you probably hated as a kid? He put each one in its place. There isn’t a single thing about you that happened by accident.

Psalm 139:13-16 says, “For you formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.”

Many of us will look at our lives and not see the potential that God sees. We don’t understand how He could use us. The people we would choose have talents and gifts that seem far beyond what we have been given but God sees beyond the rough splintery outside to the beauty that lies within.

One thing you should know about the podium; it was made entirely out of scrap wood. Every piece in it was destined to be thrown away or burned. You may feel destined for the scrap pile but God sees even your potential. After all, He’s the one who put it there. Will you surrender to the hands of the Master Craftsman and allow Him to reveal the loveliness He placed in you?

A Blank Page

Writing is hard! I sit down with my pen and tablet thinking, “Okay! This time I’ll get something down!” But then I look at that sheet of paper, clean, crisp…blank like my mind! Am I the only one who looks at it and sees a yawning chasm? I know I’m supposed to fill it with thoughts and ideas but it’s so vast! It’s so empty and huge that I feel lost on the page.

I have never thought of myself as a writer. I feel intimidated and overwhelmed by the very idea of it! Writers are these brilliant people who can paint pictures with a word, make profound truths simple enough to understand and touch feelings and emotions with the stroke of a pen. I’m just a woman with a big vocabulary.

And yet I feel a pull to write. I’m drawn to it even though it frightens me. What am I afraid of?

Failing.

What if I’m just kidding myself? What if they just laugh at me? Will I look dumb? In my mind my thoughts are private. I can scribble and doodle and no one will ever know. But when you write those thoughts down on paper it’s like hanging your underwear out on the clothesline for all your neighbors to see. You know they all have them too but theirs aren’t out there dangling in the breeze!

What if I let my fear keep me from writing? What if I am too afraid to step out of the boat onto the water? I will be safe in the boat, that’s true but Jesus isn’t in the boat. He’s out there waiting for me. I have to get out and stand exposed on the water to get to Him.

If it is true that I have a gift for writing then I want to be faithful with it. I don’t want to just bury it and not share it. If I have it, it’s for a reason.

In Isaiah (6:8-9) it says, “Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” And He said, “Go, and tell this people:”

Am I willing to be sent? Will I “go and tell this people”?

Maybe failing isn’t in writing something lousy, maybe failing is in not writing at all.