Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Nothing left

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

That's how I'm feeling today; just a teeny, tiny bit overwhelmed.

The e-mails have been rolling in like one demanding tsunami wave after another and I began to feel like I was drowning in a sea of "did you? would you? have you? when are you?"

I called Jon to hear a friendly voice and maybe talk myself down from the wall I was about to jump off of.

I told him I'd like to be a cat; they lay around all day sleeping and eating. If they do decide to get up it's to pounce on another cat or walk over to a nice lap for some loving. Mine are laying around like little rugs in front of the woodstove slow roasting their bellies.

I'd definately like to be a cat! He just laughed not understanding how overwhelmed I was feeling. I think he got it when I got all weepy though. He tried to reassure me that we'd get it all figured out and I appreciate his efforts, but that wasn't quite what I needed.

I asked him to remind me of who was in control so he did. He reminded me that God is in charge and all we need to do is seek Him and let Him direct us. I know all of this, I just need to be reminded now and again. I take my eyes off my Lord and get them on the storm and my sinking boat and just like those disciples I start panicking.

Jon and I finished up and I felt a little better. Not much, but a little. Josh and Arielle were sitting at the kitchen table finishing up their lunch and reading bible verses to each other. Arielle said something to me about what they were doing and I replied, "I'm having a nervous breakdown!" She asked me if it would help if she read me a bible verse and I said sure, try to read one that's comforting.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

If you know me, you know that is my life verse. It's the one I cling to when I feel overwhelmed, unsure or out of my league (which pretty much describes me today!) As soon as she began to read I started to laugh. God is not a God who is far off. He is nearby waiting for us to call on Him for help. He's not unaware of my state and He has all I need to do what He's asked of me.

It was like He reached down into my kitchen and tenderly lifted my eyes off my storm and back to His beautiful face.

3 comments:

Cora said...

My dear, sweet friend, Frannie. You don't know how sorry I am that my e-mail added so much panic to your day. I am SO glad that verse reached your ears and you were able to look to the One who can truly help you.

I hope you have a much better day tomorrow and the days that follow :)

And, also, thank you for the reminder that when I am ready to pull my hair out from these wonderful home schooling days, I only have to pause and close my eyes and reflect on Him who can get me through it.

Kim said...

Ah, I know we've all been there! It's much easier to see the Lord working in someone else's life and to realize that the Lord is in control and things will be okay in someone else's life, isn't it?

I'm so happy the Lord showed you yesterday in a special way that you can trust Him in the midst of trying circumstances. (You're teaching on peace, right? ;)

Love you much.

Anonymous said...

In all the things we do, the expectations others have of us and the ones we have for ourselves, it is good to know we are still in the palm of His hand. Keep favorite verses on the kitchen window, or bathroom mirror so you spot them when you feel most frazzled and you will feel His peace and calmness in the middle of your day to day stresses. One day, you will look back on these days and actually MISS THEM! I do! Even when you feel your most weary, "be diligent on your well-doing for in due time you willreap a harvest if you do not give up"! (Can't rememeber where it's found right off the top of my head, but it was on my kitchen window for awhile!)Love you lots, Kimmie