A Blank Page

Writing is hard! I sit down with my pen and tablet thinking, “Okay! This time I’ll get something down!” But then I look at that sheet of paper, clean, crisp…blank like my mind! Am I the only one who looks at it and sees a yawning chasm? I know I’m supposed to fill it with thoughts and ideas but it’s so vast! It’s so empty and huge that I feel lost on the page.

I have never thought of myself as a writer. I feel intimidated and overwhelmed by the very idea of it! Writers are these brilliant people who can paint pictures with a word, make profound truths simple enough to understand and touch feelings and emotions with the stroke of a pen. I’m just a woman with a big vocabulary.

And yet I feel a pull to write. I’m drawn to it even though it frightens me. What am I afraid of?

Failing.

What if I’m just kidding myself? What if they just laugh at me? Will I look dumb? In my mind my thoughts are private. I can scribble and doodle and no one will ever know. But when you write those thoughts down on paper it’s like hanging your underwear out on the clothesline for all your neighbors to see. You know they all have them too but theirs aren’t out there dangling in the breeze!

What if I let my fear keep me from writing? What if I am too afraid to step out of the boat onto the water? I will be safe in the boat, that’s true but Jesus isn’t in the boat. He’s out there waiting for me. I have to get out and stand exposed on the water to get to Him.

If it is true that I have a gift for writing then I want to be faithful with it. I don’t want to just bury it and not share it. If I have it, it’s for a reason.

In Isaiah (6:8-9) it says, “Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” And He said, “Go, and tell this people:”

Am I willing to be sent? Will I “go and tell this people”?

Maybe failing isn’t in writing something lousy, maybe failing is in not writing at all.